Friday, December 30, 2005
I'm a pepper
Bought a Dr. Pepper today. On it it said 5% MORE! I thought, "hmmm 5% - that's pretty good." I was fooled by advertising. 5% of a 20oz. bottle is.... 1 oz.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Movie idea for the Christmas season
Every year seems to bring at least one movie (usually "made-for-tv") that is a modification off of "Miracle on 34th Street." Basically a town experiences either the discovery or a visit from an old man with a beard that seems to be family-less. Most of the time they have him 'play' Santa Claus while they try to help him (find his family, or cure his insanity, or simply take him in).
Now the bearded old man - sometimes he says he is the real Santa Claus and people think he's crazy, other times he has a cleverly disguised name like "Nicholas" or "Kris" and he does good deeds...
My premise for my movie would start out just like that, but the the twist would be that just when people begin to believe - as soon as he enters their hearts and minds - he goes on a killing spree using his ruse of Santa Claus to enter people's homes and pick them off one by one. "Look what I have in my bag for you," as he pulls out a semi-automatic.
Ok, so it wouldn't be a "Christmas movie" but more of a horror movie/ thriller. I think that would be surprising and definitely a departure from the norm. But I wouldn't market it like that...
Now the bearded old man - sometimes he says he is the real Santa Claus and people think he's crazy, other times he has a cleverly disguised name like "Nicholas" or "Kris" and he does good deeds...
My premise for my movie would start out just like that, but the the twist would be that just when people begin to believe - as soon as he enters their hearts and minds - he goes on a killing spree using his ruse of Santa Claus to enter people's homes and pick them off one by one. "Look what I have in my bag for you," as he pulls out a semi-automatic.
Ok, so it wouldn't be a "Christmas movie" but more of a horror movie/ thriller. I think that would be surprising and definitely a departure from the norm. But I wouldn't market it like that...
Monday, December 12, 2005
Festivus for the rest of us!
Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas.
How dare stores not use "Christmas?" How dare they? Who do they think they are trying to be non-offensive and all inclusive? Do they think that by doing this customers will continue shopping there?
Well they have another thing coming. I want people to be told "Merry Christmas" dammit. I don't care if they are not Christian! I mean Christmas is the celebration - deep rooted, and evolved from Greek mythology - to symbolize the birth of our Lord and Savior. And even if you don't believe that Jesus died for you - then you just needed him to die for you more than me, because I believe, and I will force him upon you.
Because that's what Jesus would have done. He wouldn't walk around village to village trying to teach and educate those who wanted to listen - he would have posted a big sign up somewhere that was so big, that you were compelled to buy into it. Right?
Jesus definitely would have wanted all the glory of this day. He would want to be exalted higher than any other holiday that may be occurring around the same time. He wouldn't want anybody to "love thy neighbor" if they were somehow different - or believed different things.
So as a note to everyone: reschedule your holidays, or become Christian. I think that sounds pretty reasonable, right?
Yeah, me neither. Sadly enough there are people out there like this. It's a shame that some people are more concerned with the word "Christmas" than the spirit.
How dare stores not use "Christmas?" How dare they? Who do they think they are trying to be non-offensive and all inclusive? Do they think that by doing this customers will continue shopping there?
Well they have another thing coming. I want people to be told "Merry Christmas" dammit. I don't care if they are not Christian! I mean Christmas is the celebration - deep rooted, and evolved from Greek mythology - to symbolize the birth of our Lord and Savior. And even if you don't believe that Jesus died for you - then you just needed him to die for you more than me, because I believe, and I will force him upon you.
Because that's what Jesus would have done. He wouldn't walk around village to village trying to teach and educate those who wanted to listen - he would have posted a big sign up somewhere that was so big, that you were compelled to buy into it. Right?
Jesus definitely would have wanted all the glory of this day. He would want to be exalted higher than any other holiday that may be occurring around the same time. He wouldn't want anybody to "love thy neighbor" if they were somehow different - or believed different things.
So as a note to everyone: reschedule your holidays, or become Christian. I think that sounds pretty reasonable, right?
Yeah, me neither. Sadly enough there are people out there like this. It's a shame that some people are more concerned with the word "Christmas" than the spirit.
Festivus for the rest of us!
Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas.
How dare stores not use "Christmas?" How dare they? Who do they think they are trying to be non-offensive and all inclusive? Do they think that by doing this customers will continue shopping there?
Well they have another thing coming. I want people to be told "Merry Christmas" dammit. I don't care if they are not Christian! I mean Christmas is the celebration - deep rooted, and evolved from Greek mythology - to symbolize the birth of our Lord and Savior. And even if you don't believe that Jesus died for you - then you just needed him to die for you more than me, because I believe, and I will force him upon you.
Because that's what Jesus would have done. He wouldn't walk around village to village trying to teach and educate those who wanted to listen - he would have posted a big sign up somewhere that was so big, that you were compelled to buy into it. Right?
Jesus definitely would have wanted all the glory of this day. He would want to be exalted higher than any other holiday that may be occurring around the same time. He wouldn't want anybody to "love thy neighbor" if they were somehow different - or believed different things.
So as a note to everyone: reschedule your holidays, or become Christian. I think that sounds pretty reasonable, right?
Yeah, me neither. Sadly enough there are people out there like this. It's a shame that some people are more concerned with the word "Christmas" than the spirit.
How dare stores not use "Christmas?" How dare they? Who do they think they are trying to be non-offensive and all inclusive? Do they think that by doing this customers will continue shopping there?
Well they have another thing coming. I want people to be told "Merry Christmas" dammit. I don't care if they are not Christian! I mean Christmas is the celebration - deep rooted, and evolved from Greek mythology - to symbolize the birth of our Lord and Savior. And even if you don't believe that Jesus died for you - then you just needed him to die for you more than me, because I believe, and I will force him upon you.
Because that's what Jesus would have done. He wouldn't walk around village to village trying to teach and educate those who wanted to listen - he would have posted a big sign up somewhere that was so big, that you were compelled to buy into it. Right?
Jesus definitely would have wanted all the glory of this day. He would want to be exalted higher than any other holiday that may be occurring around the same time. He wouldn't want anybody to "love thy neighbor" if they were somehow different - or believed different things.
So as a note to everyone: reschedule your holidays, or become Christian. I think that sounds pretty reasonable, right?
Yeah, me neither. Sadly enough there are people out there like this. It's a shame that some people are more concerned with the word "Christmas" than the spirit.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Free Money!
Ok. This is the best thing my bank has ever done for me...
I received an offer called "Keep the Change." Here's how it works: Every time I use my debit card for a purchase, the bank will round up the purchase and deposit that amount into my savings. For example, I go buy something for $21.45. The bank will delete $22.00 from my account and deposit the .65 into my savings account. It's the equivalent of emptying my pocket change into a jar.
Now here's the best part - for the first 3 months, the bank will match the money 100%. So if I save $10.00, the bank deposits another $10.00 into my account. After the first 3 months, the bank will match 5% of my "Keep the Change" savings. It's free money! How is that ever a bad thing? Since we use the debit card for a lot of purchases, it makes sense. Especially if they are going to give us free money.
And who am I to turn down free money?
I received an offer called "Keep the Change." Here's how it works: Every time I use my debit card for a purchase, the bank will round up the purchase and deposit that amount into my savings. For example, I go buy something for $21.45. The bank will delete $22.00 from my account and deposit the .65 into my savings account. It's the equivalent of emptying my pocket change into a jar.
Now here's the best part - for the first 3 months, the bank will match the money 100%. So if I save $10.00, the bank deposits another $10.00 into my account. After the first 3 months, the bank will match 5% of my "Keep the Change" savings. It's free money! How is that ever a bad thing? Since we use the debit card for a lot of purchases, it makes sense. Especially if they are going to give us free money.
And who am I to turn down free money?
Friday, December 02, 2005
Instant Madness
A snippet of a conversation with my mother over instant messenger:
Mom: hey
TZ:yes?
Mom:do you happen to have glen's address?
TZ:did you blog?
TZ:i do
Mom: yes i did
TZ:hold on a sec
TZ:111111 Main Dr.
Mom: ty
TZ:ty? ty pennington?
TZ:i don't have his address
Mom: no, thank you
TZ:now was typing it out so hard?
Mom: get with it
Mom: not hard, time consuming
TZ:your blog isn't up
Mom:i don't type that fast
Mom:i published it
TZ:and time consuming? for like 7 letters?
TZ:when?
Mom:where are you looking
Mom:this am.
TZ:http://jilceedeerinheadlights.blogspot.com/
TZ:i see nothing, do you?
TZ:i mean I see the test ones from ryan and adam, but nothing else
Mom: no. i am upset. i could even look at it in blog form after i hit publish. where is it?
TZ:i don't know
TZ:still think I was wrong in asking you if you knew how to publish it?
TZ:ah - you have 2
TZ:http://jilcee.blogspot.com/
Mom:it's under jilce. i want to move it & delete jilce. how do i do that?
TZ:well to move it, you copy and paste it to the other one
Mom:i thought of that but i copied . . . not sure if i can get in to paste
TZ:paste it in a regular text doc for now
TZ:then go into "change settings" for the jilcee blog
TZ:at the bottom there is an option to delete it
Mom:what do you mean a regular text doc?
TZ:just paste it into note pad, or MS word for now - that way you can save it and not accidentally delete your writing
Mom:i copied under "edit" & then couldn't find it to paste when i changed to from jilce to deer
TZ: copy it again. open a blank document. paste it.
Mom: blank in word?
TZ:yes
Mom: can't do it. maybe i should just rename the one i have & go with it & delete the other one
TZ:you can do that too
Mom:can you do it for me?
TZ:crikey
TZ:yes.
TZ:i need your login info
Mom:*user* *password* i want "deer in headlights" as my blog name--more anonymous--then let me know how to get to it
TZ:http://jilceedeerinheadlights.blogspot.com/
TZ:the dashboard is the same
TZ:in the same place I mean
Mom:ty
Mom:oh, i mean THANK YOU
Mom:gg
TZ:you're welcome
TZ:gg?
Mom:good going
TZ:are you 12?
Mom:duh
TZ:if you are going to have to explain all of your little abbreviations to me anyway, why not just type them out?
Mom:k
TZ:i'm just saying
Mom: hey
TZ:yes?
Mom:do you happen to have glen's address?
TZ:did you blog?
TZ:i do
Mom: yes i did
TZ:hold on a sec
TZ:111111 Main Dr.
Mom: ty
TZ:ty? ty pennington?
TZ:i don't have his address
Mom: no, thank you
TZ:now was typing it out so hard?
Mom: get with it
Mom: not hard, time consuming
TZ:your blog isn't up
Mom:i don't type that fast
Mom:i published it
TZ:and time consuming? for like 7 letters?
TZ:when?
Mom:where are you looking
Mom:this am.
TZ:http://jilceedeerinheadlights.blogspot.com/
TZ:i see nothing, do you?
TZ:i mean I see the test ones from ryan and adam, but nothing else
Mom: no. i am upset. i could even look at it in blog form after i hit publish. where is it?
TZ:i don't know
TZ:still think I was wrong in asking you if you knew how to publish it?
TZ:ah - you have 2
TZ:http://jilcee.blogspot.com/
Mom:it's under jilce. i want to move it & delete jilce. how do i do that?
TZ:well to move it, you copy and paste it to the other one
Mom:i thought of that but i copied . . . not sure if i can get in to paste
TZ:paste it in a regular text doc for now
TZ:then go into "change settings" for the jilcee blog
TZ:at the bottom there is an option to delete it
Mom:what do you mean a regular text doc?
TZ:just paste it into note pad, or MS word for now - that way you can save it and not accidentally delete your writing
Mom:i copied under "edit" & then couldn't find it to paste when i changed to from jilce to deer
TZ: copy it again. open a blank document. paste it.
Mom: blank in word?
TZ:yes
Mom: can't do it. maybe i should just rename the one i have & go with it & delete the other one
TZ:you can do that too
Mom:can you do it for me?
TZ:crikey
TZ:yes.
TZ:i need your login info
Mom:*user* *password* i want "deer in headlights" as my blog name--more anonymous--then let me know how to get to it
TZ:http://jilceedeerinheadlights.blogspot.com/
TZ:the dashboard is the same
TZ:in the same place I mean
Mom:ty
Mom:oh, i mean THANK YOU
Mom:gg
TZ:you're welcome
TZ:gg?
Mom:good going
TZ:are you 12?
Mom:duh
TZ:if you are going to have to explain all of your little abbreviations to me anyway, why not just type them out?
Mom:k
TZ:i'm just saying
Monday, November 28, 2005
Over the hills and through the snow....
It seems to be a new holiday tradition.
Ok. We travelled to West Virginia this past Wednesday night for the holiday. Now - it seems like we are starting a new holiday tradition: bad weather travels! Last year was horrendous (it was raining, the windshield wipers stopped working, we had to drive back in the rain with nothing but "Rain-X" protecting us...).
This year we left after our respective work days. As soon as we stepped outside we felt the little flakes and start of snow. It was chilly that night, but we went on - nothing too major for a while. Then we started across the mountains between here and WV. The snow wasn't hard, but it was plentiful. In night time driving the headlights reflected off the flakes and it looks like - in Star Wars - a space ship going into hyperspace. I focused on the white line of the lane to stay in check. Then that line started to disappear. Soon I was following tracks in the snow, but also a 18-wheel truck. We weren't going fast, but we were still on course.
Soon enough the truck was gone. And I was the leader of the pack. It never fails - when driving in this weather the SUVs started to pass at speeds they really shouldn't, and in doing so, they splashed a good amount of gook onto the windshield that turned my limited visibility to nil for a second or two. I cursed them mightily.
You know you are in bad weather when occasionally you talk to the car itself "C'mon stay right there...not bad... get back... c'mon..." After a while Rach said "Well, we've made past where we made it last year." Oddly enough I had neen thinking the same thing.
The tricky things are the up hill drives. You want to keep enough speed to stay on course, but not to fast that you lose control. Also, bridges - the freeze first like the signs say. It's easier to gain enough speed to get over them without stepping on the gas further.
I clutched the steering wheel so hard my hands hurt. Rach actually stayed awake. My mom then called. Reluctantly I answered because I knew she'd be worried. "Hello?" She said "Where are you?" I told her. "How are the roads?" I replied, "It's nasty." Somehow, from this she started to talk more, "Yeah I was watching the Weather Channel and they were talking about all these storms that are out and..." I had to cut her off. "Yeah, that's great, I gotta go." I suppressed my sarcasm of "really, there are storms... what do you know? I had no clue..."
It started to clear once we started into WV. We had made it. 2 hours more than normal, but still...
I tell you the things we go through to see family on a holiday... and as usual - it was worth it.
Ok. We travelled to West Virginia this past Wednesday night for the holiday. Now - it seems like we are starting a new holiday tradition: bad weather travels! Last year was horrendous (it was raining, the windshield wipers stopped working, we had to drive back in the rain with nothing but "Rain-X" protecting us...).
This year we left after our respective work days. As soon as we stepped outside we felt the little flakes and start of snow. It was chilly that night, but we went on - nothing too major for a while. Then we started across the mountains between here and WV. The snow wasn't hard, but it was plentiful. In night time driving the headlights reflected off the flakes and it looks like - in Star Wars - a space ship going into hyperspace. I focused on the white line of the lane to stay in check. Then that line started to disappear. Soon I was following tracks in the snow, but also a 18-wheel truck. We weren't going fast, but we were still on course.
Soon enough the truck was gone. And I was the leader of the pack. It never fails - when driving in this weather the SUVs started to pass at speeds they really shouldn't, and in doing so, they splashed a good amount of gook onto the windshield that turned my limited visibility to nil for a second or two. I cursed them mightily.
You know you are in bad weather when occasionally you talk to the car itself "C'mon stay right there...not bad... get back... c'mon..." After a while Rach said "Well, we've made past where we made it last year." Oddly enough I had neen thinking the same thing.
The tricky things are the up hill drives. You want to keep enough speed to stay on course, but not to fast that you lose control. Also, bridges - the freeze first like the signs say. It's easier to gain enough speed to get over them without stepping on the gas further.
I clutched the steering wheel so hard my hands hurt. Rach actually stayed awake. My mom then called. Reluctantly I answered because I knew she'd be worried. "Hello?" She said "Where are you?" I told her. "How are the roads?" I replied, "It's nasty." Somehow, from this she started to talk more, "Yeah I was watching the Weather Channel and they were talking about all these storms that are out and..." I had to cut her off. "Yeah, that's great, I gotta go." I suppressed my sarcasm of "really, there are storms... what do you know? I had no clue..."
It started to clear once we started into WV. We had made it. 2 hours more than normal, but still...
I tell you the things we go through to see family on a holiday... and as usual - it was worth it.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Comments for the week.
I cannot begin to describe the week I have had. I have been cranky and work has just piled on other things - little frustrations, that are made more complex by others sometimes, but usually made more complex because I am in a training class and my availability for other things isn't what it should be.
Anyway, I won't bitch about that. I know everyone has their own lives and their own problems so.... I will talk about other things.
Like sports - T.O. is an ass.
College basketball is starting, which is good, but I will probably only pay attention to WV until the beginning of 2006. Geez, that's right around the corner.
And entertainment - Matthew McConaughey is sexy... "People" says so.
Ok. Every year the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue comes out. And every year I hear about how the swim suit issue objectifies women, and shows women as objects of desire. Every year, People Magazine puts out the "Sexiest Man Alive" and you don't hear word one about how it objectifies men. What's the difference, really? SI shows women in swimsuits. In 'People' the men aren't in swimsuits, but they are in unbuttoned shirts or shirtless altogether, mostly. Or they are in designer suits to make them look really good. Where's the outrage? There are plenty of double-standards in this world, and I don't agree with any of them. But this one is so public. But the 'Sexiest Man Alive' is talked about freely and openly without recourse and the swimsuit issue is denounced and protested. I'm not calling for protests or anything - I just want to know what is the difference? Why is it okay on one side and not the other?
The new Harry Potter movie comes out tomorrow. The only thing stopping me from going on the first night would be the hordes of ankle-biters. But - I am thinking hard about a late night showing... my poor wife. I play video games, like Harry Potter, sports, and cartoons.... she married a 9 year old.
But not literally of course. She couldn't do that - unless we lived in Georgia, apparently. Funny how some laws are just ignored and forgotten until something like that happens.
I think I saw a Simpson's episode like that once. Where they found our Springfield was still under prohibition... and violation of that was a catapulting... but I digress.
Politics - Cheney is angry that Democrats say they were misled. George Bush is in Asia... I hope he doesn't dip into his soup like daddy. I don't know if what they are saying is true or not, but it seems like they are trying to deny things incessantly to make it true... kinda like the song "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy. If you proclaim it enough, maybe people will start to believe it.
And those are my comments for the week.
Anyway, I won't bitch about that. I know everyone has their own lives and their own problems so.... I will talk about other things.
Like sports - T.O. is an ass.
College basketball is starting, which is good, but I will probably only pay attention to WV until the beginning of 2006. Geez, that's right around the corner.
And entertainment - Matthew McConaughey is sexy... "People" says so.
Ok. Every year the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue comes out. And every year I hear about how the swim suit issue objectifies women, and shows women as objects of desire. Every year, People Magazine puts out the "Sexiest Man Alive" and you don't hear word one about how it objectifies men. What's the difference, really? SI shows women in swimsuits. In 'People' the men aren't in swimsuits, but they are in unbuttoned shirts or shirtless altogether, mostly. Or they are in designer suits to make them look really good. Where's the outrage? There are plenty of double-standards in this world, and I don't agree with any of them. But this one is so public. But the 'Sexiest Man Alive' is talked about freely and openly without recourse and the swimsuit issue is denounced and protested. I'm not calling for protests or anything - I just want to know what is the difference? Why is it okay on one side and not the other?
The new Harry Potter movie comes out tomorrow. The only thing stopping me from going on the first night would be the hordes of ankle-biters. But - I am thinking hard about a late night showing... my poor wife. I play video games, like Harry Potter, sports, and cartoons.... she married a 9 year old.
But not literally of course. She couldn't do that - unless we lived in Georgia, apparently. Funny how some laws are just ignored and forgotten until something like that happens.
I think I saw a Simpson's episode like that once. Where they found our Springfield was still under prohibition... and violation of that was a catapulting... but I digress.
Politics - Cheney is angry that Democrats say they were misled. George Bush is in Asia... I hope he doesn't dip into his soup like daddy. I don't know if what they are saying is true or not, but it seems like they are trying to deny things incessantly to make it true... kinda like the song "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy. If you proclaim it enough, maybe people will start to believe it.
And those are my comments for the week.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Vick against Miami Weekend!
Watch a Virginia Tech football game this season. Just one. And tell me the impressions you get about Marcus Vick.
Marcus Vick was convicted in May 2004 for "contributing to the delinquency of a minor." More than one really - 3 counts for each of the 14 and 15 year old girls he was drinking with at a party. I should state at this point that Virginia Tech did not do anything at this point. Then he gets stopped by police for speeding and was found with marijuana in his possession. Virginia Tech, at this point, suspended him for a year.
So watch one game of Virginia Tech football - and see the praise that everyone heaps upon this guy. See if you get any sense that this kid is trouble, or troubled... I bet $100 that you don't.
Every VT game should be renamed the Vick Accolade show. They talk about Michael Vick and Marcus Vick, how they are similar, how they are different, how they dress, and on and on... Any opportunity is taken to talk about how great the Vick's are.
I am watching the Virginia Tech/ Miami game right now (by the way - the new orange-sleeved jerseys for VT? Rach put it best when she said "It looks like they are wearing floaties.") VT is #3 and Miami is #5. The announcers have touted Vick all night. Up until this point Miami has dominated the game. In the first half Miami was controlling the ball because "they have to keep the dangerous Vick on the sidelines." And when Vick is on offense, he can do no wrong. I saw him throw a ball out of bounds and I swear the commentators complimented Vick on his accuracy. He throws an interception and the announcers make the excuse that it is only his 9th game (completely disregarding the fact that it's his 9th game because he was suspended all last year). In the first half he had one completion out of ten attempts for six yards, and two turnovers. That's about as bad of a first half anyone could have. But oh, you wait. The "unflappable Marcus Vick" will certainly save the day. I have heard that he doesn't get rattled, and he is unflappable a number of times this evening...he just fumbled early in the third quarter. How unflappable.
And these games are also usede to constantly relive and discuss Michael Vick and his accoplishments, and utter greatness. I wonder if anyone's told them that he has about a 50% completion percentage in the NFL... that's not good.
Now I am not saying that Marcus is a bad player, all I am asking is why do people GUSH over him like he is this fantastic player and person. Raphael Palmerio will be forever known as a steroid user - but Marcus Vick - convicted of drug possession and gettin' it on with 14 year olds - is now a swell guy (by the way, I have the same exact problem with Kobe Bryant). And the great Marcus Vick just fumbled in his own end zone to give Miami another touchdown. That's 4 turnovers by him but on the bright side, I bet the announcers will tell me how he led Miami on a great scoring drive.
The announcers just said he wanted to see the "real Marcus Vick." Well fire him up a doobie, and bring in the pre-teens and the booze! That's the real Marcus Vick, isn't it? Maybe not, but it's part of it - and it is completely IGNORED. Maybe I am a but biased because of my dislike for Virginia Tech in general, but I don't think I am the only one who is sick of the constant praise of this kid (who just fumbled again, by the way) with no mention at all that he was suspended. Just that he didn't play last year.
And just while I am thinking about it - what the hell is "Beamer Ball?" The only explanation I get is "trying to score using offense, defense and special teams." Now I am not a college football coach, but I would imagine that all coaches try to create ways to score in all 3 phases. I seriously doubt Frank Beamer invented this concept, yet somehow he gets this weird credit for it. And how arrogant are his facial expressions? No matter what is called on him he seems shocked - SHOCKED that it happened... noooo not Beamer Ball.
Mr. Unflappable just threw another interception. 13:00 left in the last quarter. Oh my goodness! He completed a pass! The announcers are gushing again. "Look at that release." Yep - he's thrown 2 interceptions, fumbled 4 times (1 for a Miami touchdown) and completed maybe 5 passes all night. But tell me more about his perfect, beautiful, quick release...
Tech will lose badly. They will lose their #3 ranking. They won't go to the National Championship. But don't worry, announcers... not Marcus Vick can "come back" after a tough loss, and just continue to build on his legend.
I'm sure I'll hear all about it.
And just for good measure, we are told that the Falcons (whose QB is Michael Vick) play Miami tomorrow. Well, hell. It's just a Vick vs. Miami weekend.
Woo hoo.
Marcus Vick was convicted in May 2004 for "contributing to the delinquency of a minor." More than one really - 3 counts for each of the 14 and 15 year old girls he was drinking with at a party. I should state at this point that Virginia Tech did not do anything at this point. Then he gets stopped by police for speeding and was found with marijuana in his possession. Virginia Tech, at this point, suspended him for a year.
So watch one game of Virginia Tech football - and see the praise that everyone heaps upon this guy. See if you get any sense that this kid is trouble, or troubled... I bet $100 that you don't.
Every VT game should be renamed the Vick Accolade show. They talk about Michael Vick and Marcus Vick, how they are similar, how they are different, how they dress, and on and on... Any opportunity is taken to talk about how great the Vick's are.
I am watching the Virginia Tech/ Miami game right now (by the way - the new orange-sleeved jerseys for VT? Rach put it best when she said "It looks like they are wearing floaties.") VT is #3 and Miami is #5. The announcers have touted Vick all night. Up until this point Miami has dominated the game. In the first half Miami was controlling the ball because "they have to keep the dangerous Vick on the sidelines." And when Vick is on offense, he can do no wrong. I saw him throw a ball out of bounds and I swear the commentators complimented Vick on his accuracy. He throws an interception and the announcers make the excuse that it is only his 9th game (completely disregarding the fact that it's his 9th game because he was suspended all last year). In the first half he had one completion out of ten attempts for six yards, and two turnovers. That's about as bad of a first half anyone could have. But oh, you wait. The "unflappable Marcus Vick" will certainly save the day. I have heard that he doesn't get rattled, and he is unflappable a number of times this evening...he just fumbled early in the third quarter. How unflappable.
And these games are also usede to constantly relive and discuss Michael Vick and his accoplishments, and utter greatness. I wonder if anyone's told them that he has about a 50% completion percentage in the NFL... that's not good.
Now I am not saying that Marcus is a bad player, all I am asking is why do people GUSH over him like he is this fantastic player and person. Raphael Palmerio will be forever known as a steroid user - but Marcus Vick - convicted of drug possession and gettin' it on with 14 year olds - is now a swell guy (by the way, I have the same exact problem with Kobe Bryant). And the great Marcus Vick just fumbled in his own end zone to give Miami another touchdown. That's 4 turnovers by him but on the bright side, I bet the announcers will tell me how he led Miami on a great scoring drive.
The announcers just said he wanted to see the "real Marcus Vick." Well fire him up a doobie, and bring in the pre-teens and the booze! That's the real Marcus Vick, isn't it? Maybe not, but it's part of it - and it is completely IGNORED. Maybe I am a but biased because of my dislike for Virginia Tech in general, but I don't think I am the only one who is sick of the constant praise of this kid (who just fumbled again, by the way) with no mention at all that he was suspended. Just that he didn't play last year.
And just while I am thinking about it - what the hell is "Beamer Ball?" The only explanation I get is "trying to score using offense, defense and special teams." Now I am not a college football coach, but I would imagine that all coaches try to create ways to score in all 3 phases. I seriously doubt Frank Beamer invented this concept, yet somehow he gets this weird credit for it. And how arrogant are his facial expressions? No matter what is called on him he seems shocked - SHOCKED that it happened... noooo not Beamer Ball.
Mr. Unflappable just threw another interception. 13:00 left in the last quarter. Oh my goodness! He completed a pass! The announcers are gushing again. "Look at that release." Yep - he's thrown 2 interceptions, fumbled 4 times (1 for a Miami touchdown) and completed maybe 5 passes all night. But tell me more about his perfect, beautiful, quick release...
Tech will lose badly. They will lose their #3 ranking. They won't go to the National Championship. But don't worry, announcers... not Marcus Vick can "come back" after a tough loss, and just continue to build on his legend.
I'm sure I'll hear all about it.
And just for good measure, we are told that the Falcons (whose QB is Michael Vick) play Miami tomorrow. Well, hell. It's just a Vick vs. Miami weekend.
Woo hoo.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Recent Press Reslease from the University of Maryland
ZUNDELL FAMILY SET FOR EXPANSION (by Adam Zundell)
COLLEGE PARK, Md. – One of Laurel’s most fascinating couples, Adam and Kelly Zundell, announced today that they are expecting their first child. The offspring, known by insiders as “BZ” (Baby Zundell), is expected to arrive May 4, 2006.
“We are excited to announce the impending arrival of BZ,” family spokesman Adam Zundell said outside of the family’s modest two-bedroom apartment. “Mother and baby are doing well through the first trimester and we are optimistic that the pregnancy will continue to run smoothly. Basically, I just have to stay out of the way and cater to their needs.”
The announcement has sparked controversy in the couple’s inner circle as the two have decided not to learn in advance the sex of the baby. While the couple believes this will add excitement to the process, naysayers object that they have no direction in what they will be purchasing for BZ.
“They’re just being stubborn and giving us no direction,” a source close to the couple said on the condition of anonymity. “It’s a different time now – they should know what they’re having.”
Responding to the critics, Kelly Zundell said, “It’s our decision. We have the right to change our mind, but this is what we’ve decided to do at this point. Besides, we don’t want color-directed purchases for BZ like pink outfits for girls or blue outfits for boys. So, no matter what, we want green.”
“… or black,” Adam Zundell interjected.
“People can’t buy black outfits for the baby, that’s just silly,” Kelly Zundell shot back at her husband before the two retreated back into their apartment.
Also swirling around the couple will be the name of BZ. Reports are that a list of names exists in an undisclosed location, but that several names – including Blanket and Apple – have been eliminated early on in the proceedings. Because of Kelly Zundell’s occupation as a teacher, 90 percent of all names are also eliminated due to negative connotations associated with each of those names.
Despite NCAA regulations, rumors have circulated that a possible baby delivery due date pool might be set to serve as a fundraiser for BZ. Details on the pool are not yet final.
Adam Zundell and Kelly Zundell, who each obtained all-conference in cross country in each of their four seasons at Wheeling Jesuit University, have said they will not insist that BZ be a runner. With Adam Zundell’s genetic limitations (he’s listed in the Maryland Media Relations Media Guide at 5-7), BZ’s potential sports may be limited. Since learning of the pregnancy, the couple has continued to run regularly in the mornings.
Future updates and details will be released as they become available.
TRANSACTIONS: Kelly Zundell pregnant with her first child.
COLLEGE PARK, Md. – One of Laurel’s most fascinating couples, Adam and Kelly Zundell, announced today that they are expecting their first child. The offspring, known by insiders as “BZ” (Baby Zundell), is expected to arrive May 4, 2006.
“We are excited to announce the impending arrival of BZ,” family spokesman Adam Zundell said outside of the family’s modest two-bedroom apartment. “Mother and baby are doing well through the first trimester and we are optimistic that the pregnancy will continue to run smoothly. Basically, I just have to stay out of the way and cater to their needs.”
The announcement has sparked controversy in the couple’s inner circle as the two have decided not to learn in advance the sex of the baby. While the couple believes this will add excitement to the process, naysayers object that they have no direction in what they will be purchasing for BZ.
“They’re just being stubborn and giving us no direction,” a source close to the couple said on the condition of anonymity. “It’s a different time now – they should know what they’re having.”
Responding to the critics, Kelly Zundell said, “It’s our decision. We have the right to change our mind, but this is what we’ve decided to do at this point. Besides, we don’t want color-directed purchases for BZ like pink outfits for girls or blue outfits for boys. So, no matter what, we want green.”
“… or black,” Adam Zundell interjected.
“People can’t buy black outfits for the baby, that’s just silly,” Kelly Zundell shot back at her husband before the two retreated back into their apartment.
Also swirling around the couple will be the name of BZ. Reports are that a list of names exists in an undisclosed location, but that several names – including Blanket and Apple – have been eliminated early on in the proceedings. Because of Kelly Zundell’s occupation as a teacher, 90 percent of all names are also eliminated due to negative connotations associated with each of those names.
Despite NCAA regulations, rumors have circulated that a possible baby delivery due date pool might be set to serve as a fundraiser for BZ. Details on the pool are not yet final.
Adam Zundell and Kelly Zundell, who each obtained all-conference in cross country in each of their four seasons at Wheeling Jesuit University, have said they will not insist that BZ be a runner. With Adam Zundell’s genetic limitations (he’s listed in the Maryland Media Relations Media Guide at 5-7), BZ’s potential sports may be limited. Since learning of the pregnancy, the couple has continued to run regularly in the mornings.
Future updates and details will be released as they become available.
TRANSACTIONS: Kelly Zundell pregnant with her first child.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Testing my toloerance for protesting.
One of my pet peeves in the world is stereotypes. What infuriates me more is when people and organizations protest something and in this protest they encourage the very stereotype they claim to be against. Let me give you a couple examples from (of course) the world of sports.
The story broke a few weeks ago that at Iowa, the visiting locker room for football games was painted all pink. Everything is pink; Pink carpet, pink walls, pink lockers, pink toilets... Well, a group came out wanting the color changed because the use of the color is offensive to women and homosexual men.
By protesting this - aren't they essentially saying that pink is a color for women and gay men? Well, that is the stereotype - but it's not necessarily true. I have known straight men to wear pink. I have worn pink, I don't consider myself either female nor homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that). So that's stereotype #1 that this protest actually supports. The second stereotype that this protest supports is that females and homosexual men are weaker than straight men and it is an insult to straight men to be called either. These are the things that I try to disspell. Just because someone is female, homosexual, straight, white, black, or anything doesn't necessarily mean that they are better or worse than the person beside them. Thank goodness we have the 'Equal Rights' protesters to point these things out.
The locker room has been painted this way for over 20 years. The coach who had the locker room painted this way had a degree in psychology. Each color has a psychological effect on people. Do you think it's just a coincidence that Burger King, Wendy's and McDonald's all share the yellow and red theme? No. It's all based on years of studies and the effect of colors. The effect of pink has a soothing, and calming effect on people. So when the coach had the locker room painted pink he was trying to give his team a psychological edge not by calling the other team "girls" or "gay." But by stunting their aggressiveness at the start of the game and the second half.
Doesn't that make more sense than some group going off half-cocked to uphold a stereotype and pretend to be against it?
The next one comes from the world of the NBA. Recently David Stern (the NBA commissioner) instituted a dress code for the players when they travel to games and after the games during interviews (basically, whenever they are on "Company Time"). No caps, sleeveless shirts, no more shorts, or sunglasses indoors., headphones, medallions, jerseys, etc.
There is no denying that the NBA is predominantly African American. But some players have come out saying that the new dress code is "racist." My question is; How? The argument is that it's racist because the clothing not allowed to be worn includes those associate with the "hip-hop" culture. Marcus Camby of the New York Knicks said that is the league is going to require this, the NBA should provide a stipend to the players to get the appropriate wardrob. A stipend... for multimillionaires. Insane.
To claim that this is racist is absurd. First - though most of the NBA is African American - not everyone is. Everyone does have to adhere to the dress code. It would be racist if some people did not. Secondly, not all of the African Americans in the NBA dress in jerseys, medallions and caps. Michael Jordan always wore a suit. Magic Johnson always wore a suit. Kobe Bryant always wears a suit. To call the new policy racist means that these athletes aren't real African Americans, right? Thirdly, to call this policy racist implies that non-African Americans do not dress in jerseys, caps, and baggy jeans... ummm yeah they do. I see it all the time.
Here's the thing that these athletes just don't seem to get; most places of business have a dress code. My company has one, your company has one. I worked at a place where I had to wear a tie everyday. And I wasn't the only one who had to - every male had to - regardless of color. Women had a dress code as well. These athletes spend so much time crying about this and they don't realize that this is how the real world works. People have to follow the rules of the company and business. And I guarantee that none of my companies gave me a stipend to go buy appropriate attire. I had to do that myself (or through holiday and birthday presents :-)
So if they are trying to get sympathy from me or anyone else who has to select their daily wardrobe based on company policy - they are sadly mistaken. And to imply that it is a race issue is childish and diminishes protests against real racist issues that trickle under the radar. How many coaches we hired last week in professional sports? How many were African American or non-Caucasian? Don't know? You must have had your headphones on.
The story broke a few weeks ago that at Iowa, the visiting locker room for football games was painted all pink. Everything is pink; Pink carpet, pink walls, pink lockers, pink toilets... Well, a group came out wanting the color changed because the use of the color is offensive to women and homosexual men.
By protesting this - aren't they essentially saying that pink is a color for women and gay men? Well, that is the stereotype - but it's not necessarily true. I have known straight men to wear pink. I have worn pink, I don't consider myself either female nor homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that). So that's stereotype #1 that this protest actually supports. The second stereotype that this protest supports is that females and homosexual men are weaker than straight men and it is an insult to straight men to be called either. These are the things that I try to disspell. Just because someone is female, homosexual, straight, white, black, or anything doesn't necessarily mean that they are better or worse than the person beside them. Thank goodness we have the 'Equal Rights' protesters to point these things out.
The locker room has been painted this way for over 20 years. The coach who had the locker room painted this way had a degree in psychology. Each color has a psychological effect on people. Do you think it's just a coincidence that Burger King, Wendy's and McDonald's all share the yellow and red theme? No. It's all based on years of studies and the effect of colors. The effect of pink has a soothing, and calming effect on people. So when the coach had the locker room painted pink he was trying to give his team a psychological edge not by calling the other team "girls" or "gay." But by stunting their aggressiveness at the start of the game and the second half.
Doesn't that make more sense than some group going off half-cocked to uphold a stereotype and pretend to be against it?
The next one comes from the world of the NBA. Recently David Stern (the NBA commissioner) instituted a dress code for the players when they travel to games and after the games during interviews (basically, whenever they are on "Company Time"). No caps, sleeveless shirts, no more shorts, or sunglasses indoors., headphones, medallions, jerseys, etc.
There is no denying that the NBA is predominantly African American. But some players have come out saying that the new dress code is "racist." My question is; How? The argument is that it's racist because the clothing not allowed to be worn includes those associate with the "hip-hop" culture. Marcus Camby of the New York Knicks said that is the league is going to require this, the NBA should provide a stipend to the players to get the appropriate wardrob. A stipend... for multimillionaires. Insane.
To claim that this is racist is absurd. First - though most of the NBA is African American - not everyone is. Everyone does have to adhere to the dress code. It would be racist if some people did not. Secondly, not all of the African Americans in the NBA dress in jerseys, medallions and caps. Michael Jordan always wore a suit. Magic Johnson always wore a suit. Kobe Bryant always wears a suit. To call the new policy racist means that these athletes aren't real African Americans, right? Thirdly, to call this policy racist implies that non-African Americans do not dress in jerseys, caps, and baggy jeans... ummm yeah they do. I see it all the time.
Here's the thing that these athletes just don't seem to get; most places of business have a dress code. My company has one, your company has one. I worked at a place where I had to wear a tie everyday. And I wasn't the only one who had to - every male had to - regardless of color. Women had a dress code as well. These athletes spend so much time crying about this and they don't realize that this is how the real world works. People have to follow the rules of the company and business. And I guarantee that none of my companies gave me a stipend to go buy appropriate attire. I had to do that myself (or through holiday and birthday presents :-)
So if they are trying to get sympathy from me or anyone else who has to select their daily wardrobe based on company policy - they are sadly mistaken. And to imply that it is a race issue is childish and diminishes protests against real racist issues that trickle under the radar. How many coaches we hired last week in professional sports? How many were African American or non-Caucasian? Don't know? You must have had your headphones on.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Brought to you by.
One of the things that has been growing and growing and growing in sports is the sponsoring of different activities, or breakdowns during a game. "This trip to the bullpen is brought to you by Bud Light..." I'm not sure if it's because of the unpopularity of commercials, or just a new way to sell advertising.
I want to sell advertising too. If some pregnant chick can advertise ad space on her belly - I should be able to sell time in my day. I would make an advertising statement out loud when certain things happened during the day.
The Frito's Thursday Morning Itinerary
6:00am - "This morning's wake-up was brought to you by Serta Sleep."
6:01 - "The trip to the snooze button is sponsored by Timex."
6:06 - "The scratch of the crotch is brought to you by Gold Bond Powder."
6:27 - "Irish Spring brings you today's shower"
7:15 - "Clothing selection is brought to you by McDonald's"
8:00 - "When you want to drive - drive Pontiac."
8:36 - "The system start is sponsored by Apple - Think different."
8:39 - "The checking of the email is brought to you by Microsoft - Do something."
9:41 - "Coffee is by Starbucks"
Meetings could be sponsored by 3M and "Separations" (firings) can be sponsored by Trump Ice... Restroom breaks sponsered by the 'Dial' handsoap...
Now, how do I phrase this on eBay?
I want to sell advertising too. If some pregnant chick can advertise ad space on her belly - I should be able to sell time in my day. I would make an advertising statement out loud when certain things happened during the day.
The Frito's Thursday Morning Itinerary
6:00am - "This morning's wake-up was brought to you by Serta Sleep."
6:01 - "The trip to the snooze button is sponsored by Timex."
6:06 - "The scratch of the crotch is brought to you by Gold Bond Powder."
6:27 - "Irish Spring brings you today's shower"
7:15 - "Clothing selection is brought to you by McDonald's"
8:00 - "When you want to drive - drive Pontiac."
8:36 - "The system start is sponsored by Apple - Think different."
8:39 - "The checking of the email is brought to you by Microsoft - Do something."
9:41 - "Coffee is by Starbucks"
Meetings could be sponsored by 3M and "Separations" (firings) can be sponsored by Trump Ice... Restroom breaks sponsered by the 'Dial' handsoap...
Now, how do I phrase this on eBay?
Monday, October 17, 2005
My Last Name and My Weekend
People always mispronounce my last name- Zundell (ZUN-dull). Sometimes it's major - the worst being "zoon-deli." The most common is; zun-DELL. Now over the years, I have gotten used to it. Occasionally I will mispronounce it myself on purpose so it's spelled correctly, but people I work with - people who should pronounce it correctly - will mispronounce it.
I made a decision last week - to start mispronouncing last names. I have put up with it for so long. Sure I correct people on the first or second mispronunciation, but I let it go if it persists. I think it's disrespectful. So from now on - Dinger is Dinjer. Markowski is Marklesee, Starr is... well, I get no choice there, but I want to see what others do.
I saw a fantastic football game this past weekend. I know Notre Dame and USC got a lot of press, and deservedly so. But in the Big East - WVU vs. Louisville - classic. WVU down 24-7 in the 4th quarter and they came back, tied it, and then won in triple overtime. We almost left early like so many did. But I turned to Rachael and said "Let's see what they do here. If we score, we're only down by 10..." Lo and behold, we scored - and then went on to recover an onside kick, kicked a field goal - kick off, have a huge defensive stop and then score a touchdown... unbelievable. Then it went into OT - and that was edge-of-your-seat excitement... so far on the edge we stood most of overtime.
The best thing though outside of the game, was seeing everyone and tailgating. It's always nice that we have the Green Lot to call home.
Sunday was a far worse football day for me and my wife - Lions lose in the last minute, Steelers lose in overtime, and the Browns lost to Baltimore.
Easy trade off I guess - we'll take a WVU win most of the time.... wins are far more precious in college football.
I made a decision last week - to start mispronouncing last names. I have put up with it for so long. Sure I correct people on the first or second mispronunciation, but I let it go if it persists. I think it's disrespectful. So from now on - Dinger is Dinjer. Markowski is Marklesee, Starr is... well, I get no choice there, but I want to see what others do.
I saw a fantastic football game this past weekend. I know Notre Dame and USC got a lot of press, and deservedly so. But in the Big East - WVU vs. Louisville - classic. WVU down 24-7 in the 4th quarter and they came back, tied it, and then won in triple overtime. We almost left early like so many did. But I turned to Rachael and said "Let's see what they do here. If we score, we're only down by 10..." Lo and behold, we scored - and then went on to recover an onside kick, kicked a field goal - kick off, have a huge defensive stop and then score a touchdown... unbelievable. Then it went into OT - and that was edge-of-your-seat excitement... so far on the edge we stood most of overtime.
The best thing though outside of the game, was seeing everyone and tailgating. It's always nice that we have the Green Lot to call home.
Sunday was a far worse football day for me and my wife - Lions lose in the last minute, Steelers lose in overtime, and the Browns lost to Baltimore.
Easy trade off I guess - we'll take a WVU win most of the time.... wins are far more precious in college football.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Billboard
I just wanted to share. I saw this billboard on the way to work. It said:
"Learn to Read" (amongst a few other things)
How much of a waste of money is that?
"Learn to Read" (amongst a few other things)
How much of a waste of money is that?
Sunday, October 09, 2005
My day watching the Lions. Yay!
Ok. I haven't posted in a while, I know. This Sunday, my favorite football team - the Detroit Lions - play the local Baltimore Ravens. What this means is, I actually get to see a Lions game before Thanksgiving (the Lions always play on Thanksgiving). My one and only hope is that the Lions prevail. Livin in Raven country - my life could be miserable for the next few days if they lose. Let's see what happens....
9:58 - Put on a half pot of coffee. Usually on Sundays I will put on a full pot - but I woke up late and there's and early game, which means beer starts at 12:30 or so...
10:00 - Sit down to watch the Sports Reporters. Rachael calls Mike Lupica "mousey" she says the same about John Clayton. They start with baseball talk. Playoff time. Is it possible the Yankees have a $200 million first round loser? Yep... at least I hope so. I am a Mets fans and hate the Yankees. Rachael rather likes the Yankees. To me, Tony LaRusa is like Bill Cower. You can get into the playoffs and be impressive during the regular season, but can't seem to put it together in the post season.
10:17 - Talk turns to Eli Manning. I really don't like him. I know he's good. I won't deny that, but he came off as a huge baby when he was drafted. I feel about Eli the same way I feel about Shaq - they are probably the best people in the world - I just don't like them... I just have a problem with people who take what they have for granted and try to cry their way into a better situation. I loved that the Chargers beat the Giants a couple weeks ago.
10:15 - LaDanian Tomlinson was compared to Barry Sanders... there is only one Barry Sanders. Nobody will ever be another Barry Sanders. Nobody.
10:18 - Old Spice body wash has a commercial that alludes to a guy masturbating in the shower. Why would this make me want to buy it? I find it not only disturbing, but disgusting.
10:23 - Did you know that they actually sell "Easy Buttons" at Staples? Is that the modern day version of "Magic Beans?" What purpose could this serve? "Hey, look at me. I have an 'Easy Button' ha ha ha ha." It's not even remotely funny.
10:32 - Sunday SportsCenter. Since I watched sports all day yesterday, I can flip around.
10:36 - Sunday Morning is a breeding ground for Evangelists and infomercials...weight loss infomercials. Not to be confused with late night TV that is a breeding ground for "Girls Gone Wild" and other "mating" infomercials.
10:52 - I put together 'The Shark.' This is a small rechargeable vacuum. We have a full sized vacuum. But we now have this one too. I'm not sure why. I was going ot use it, but it has to be charged for 20 hours before it's first use. 20 hours!!!
11:00 - 12:18 - I cleaned a little. What of it? I;m domestic like that.
12:19 - I went to the grocery store to get some butter for the wings. Check that. I went to the convenience store. They didn't have any. Then I went to the grocery store. I hate the grocery store. I tried to look mean so the people outside begging for money wouldn't ask me for anything. It worked.
12:37 - Got home and put a sauce pan on the warmer.... I wonder how many tablespoons is in a 'stick' of butter. I'm guessing 8.
12;55 - Sat down to watch a little pre-game.
2:30 - Okay - I left a lot of time out. I made some wings and damn were they tasty. Adam and Kelly got me a Wing fryer for a wedding present (did I say "me" I meant "us" heh heh... and "we" have put it to good use. Thanks, Ad and Kelly!)I have been sitting on the edge of my seat the whole game. The Lions have forced a number of turnovers and started off with 14 points, but they have not been able to move the ball at all on offense. Let me comment on Harrington - he's not as bad as people think but he's not as good as I had hoped. Roy Williams went out hurt. Harrington has thrown a couple interceptions. 1 was completely his fault. The other was a bomb throw. There have also been a few drops by receivers. Marcus Pollard put one hand out for a pass that he was going to get hit. Milke Williams has dropped at least 2 passes. I'm starting to think that Harrington would be better if he had confidence in his receivers. I have read in some articles that a few of his interceptions in the past have been because of receivers running incorrect routes. The result is he waits until the route is complete and there is no timing whatsoever. Regardless - the Lions cling to a 4 point lead at half time. It was an ugly half. If the Lions remain inept on offense I fear the game will go to the Ravens.
2:55 - The Lions just stopped them on the firs possession of the second half. Thank God. Just out of Bryant's FG range. (sigh) at this point I just want them to hold on. But I know in order to do that they have to be aggressive.
Every time I clap the dog barks. I wonder if she's on our side? She's in the bedroom with Rach watching the Browns game (the Browns are Rachael's team). I don't know if the dog is actually watching the game, but it'd make sense as she could be an honerary member of the "Dawg Pound." (corny, I know.)
2:58 - Run to Jones. This guy has to get going. The announcers echo my sentiment. Either I'm smart or it's just that obvious.
3:00 - They must have heard me. 3 straight runs to K. Jones. and...uh-oh...he fumbled... maybe...wait...okay...whew -tripping called on the defense, Lions keep the ball. Man, the Ravens have been sloppy. I think that's the only reason the Lions are still in the game.
3:02 - Marcus Pollard - again - does not run the route properly and there's an incomplete pass. He could have had a 20 yard gain there.
3:04 - Kevin Johnson catches one for 10 yards - this is the only guy that Harrington has good timing with.
3:06 - Scott Fines? Who is this guy? He just made a catch for a first down inside the 10! What the Hell... GO SCOTTY!
Timeout Baltimore
Time for another beer.
3:09 - Kevin Jones throws Will Demps off like a rag doll and gains a couple.
3:11 - Suggs (for the Ravens) is thrown out of the game for contact with an official. Mike Carey is the only official I know by name he seems to call every single game. I swear, he's Superman.
3:12 - 2 runs from the 2. No TD so far. They need a TD. If Baltimore stops them... and they did. Damn. Wait 2 flags? The commentator says - "no idea what they did be but it can't be good...." no kidding. For who? Unsportsman like conduct against the Ravens. 1st and goal for the Lion-kitties... another sigh of relief.
3:14 - Run to Jones. He dives, and doesn't get in. Ugh. They can't choke here.
3:15 - Run to Jones... not in again... and Kevin Jones is hurt. The Ravens D is showing great resolve (which I reluctantly admit). This is a key possession.
3:16 - Atrose Pinner gets in... THANK GOD! Man, I can't believe it... and of course, it's challenged (reviewed by instant replay).
3:19 - There is no good replay angle. So....
3:20 - The ruling on the field stands! Sweet. Not enough cameras I guess, because I don't think he actually got in.
3:22 - #46 is ejected from the game for - guess what? - contact with an official. The Ravens got 30 yards worth of penalties on an extra point play. Unbelievable. The Ravens are coming unglued... actually, they probably came unglued a number of plays ago. Replay shows that Ed Reed should have been the one ejected.
3:29 - Deflected pass - 4th down for Baltimore.
3:31 - R.W. McQuarters - runs it down to inside the 20 and then there is a 15 yard facemask by Baltimore.
When did the braids out of the helmet become so popular?
3:32 - Artose Pinner runs down to the 1.
3:40 - "The wheels are starting to fall off" the commentator says in reference to the Ravens... ummm... that happened a long time ago. The wheels are off, and the car is on cinder blocks. Illegal block in the back by the Ravens... I am so happy right now. There is nothing more that I would want than the Lions beating the Ravens. I hate the Ravens.
3:45 - The Ravens have had 21 penalties. Almost 150 yards. I thought they were disciplined, but they are doing a great impersonation of the Raiders this week.
3:49 - A 15 yard penalty on Derick Mason. He caught a ball out of bounds and threw the ball at the wall when it was called incomplete. He's a baby.
3:50 - It seems the Ravens may break the record for penalties in a game! Only one more... these guys are above average? They were selected by some to go to the Super Bowl? If the score holds up the Ravens will have 1 win in 4 games in a division with the undefeated Bengals and the Steelers.
3:51 - The 3rd penalty is called on the Lions. The 3rd - the Ravens have 21.
3:53 - The Ravens score a TD... I am again worried about this game.
4:00 - Shawn Bryson runs for a 77 yard touchdown! 34-17 the Lions on top. How incredible will this win be without 2 of their top receivers? No Charles Rogers. No Roy Williams. 34 points. And it's against the #2 defense in the NFL. Deon Sanders just couldn't catch up... I never liked him much either. Even after he 'found Jesus.'
4:07 - The Ravens fumble. Dre Bly recovers. He's had 2 ints and 1 fumble recovery... nice game for him.
4:08 - I haven't seen Kevin Jones in a while. I wonder where he is? Did he get that hurt on the goal line?
4:22 - Lions win! Hallelujah! I can go to work and not take crap from anybody!
It was as ugly of a win that could be had. Harrington threw for less than 100 yards. The Ravens took so many penalties that they were backed up almost back to Baltimore from Detroit.
5:24 - I am watching the Ravens post game and listen to them cry. The consensus is that Billick (the Ravens coach) has to go. A lot of people are talking about the great goal line stand the Ravens had. I think it's lost on them that the Lions scored a TD on that drive. But I guess you have to find something positive.
Did I mention I don't like the Ravens? I can't wait to listen to the radio shows tomorrow.
9:58 - Put on a half pot of coffee. Usually on Sundays I will put on a full pot - but I woke up late and there's and early game, which means beer starts at 12:30 or so...
10:00 - Sit down to watch the Sports Reporters. Rachael calls Mike Lupica "mousey" she says the same about John Clayton. They start with baseball talk. Playoff time. Is it possible the Yankees have a $200 million first round loser? Yep... at least I hope so. I am a Mets fans and hate the Yankees. Rachael rather likes the Yankees. To me, Tony LaRusa is like Bill Cower. You can get into the playoffs and be impressive during the regular season, but can't seem to put it together in the post season.
10:17 - Talk turns to Eli Manning. I really don't like him. I know he's good. I won't deny that, but he came off as a huge baby when he was drafted. I feel about Eli the same way I feel about Shaq - they are probably the best people in the world - I just don't like them... I just have a problem with people who take what they have for granted and try to cry their way into a better situation. I loved that the Chargers beat the Giants a couple weeks ago.
10:15 - LaDanian Tomlinson was compared to Barry Sanders... there is only one Barry Sanders. Nobody will ever be another Barry Sanders. Nobody.
10:18 - Old Spice body wash has a commercial that alludes to a guy masturbating in the shower. Why would this make me want to buy it? I find it not only disturbing, but disgusting.
10:23 - Did you know that they actually sell "Easy Buttons" at Staples? Is that the modern day version of "Magic Beans?" What purpose could this serve? "Hey, look at me. I have an 'Easy Button' ha ha ha ha." It's not even remotely funny.
10:32 - Sunday SportsCenter. Since I watched sports all day yesterday, I can flip around.
10:36 - Sunday Morning is a breeding ground for Evangelists and infomercials...weight loss infomercials. Not to be confused with late night TV that is a breeding ground for "Girls Gone Wild" and other "mating" infomercials.
10:52 - I put together 'The Shark.' This is a small rechargeable vacuum. We have a full sized vacuum. But we now have this one too. I'm not sure why. I was going ot use it, but it has to be charged for 20 hours before it's first use. 20 hours!!!
11:00 - 12:18 - I cleaned a little. What of it? I;m domestic like that.
12:19 - I went to the grocery store to get some butter for the wings. Check that. I went to the convenience store. They didn't have any. Then I went to the grocery store. I hate the grocery store. I tried to look mean so the people outside begging for money wouldn't ask me for anything. It worked.
12:37 - Got home and put a sauce pan on the warmer.... I wonder how many tablespoons is in a 'stick' of butter. I'm guessing 8.
12;55 - Sat down to watch a little pre-game.
2:30 - Okay - I left a lot of time out. I made some wings and damn were they tasty. Adam and Kelly got me a Wing fryer for a wedding present (did I say "me" I meant "us" heh heh... and "we" have put it to good use. Thanks, Ad and Kelly!)I have been sitting on the edge of my seat the whole game. The Lions have forced a number of turnovers and started off with 14 points, but they have not been able to move the ball at all on offense. Let me comment on Harrington - he's not as bad as people think but he's not as good as I had hoped. Roy Williams went out hurt. Harrington has thrown a couple interceptions. 1 was completely his fault. The other was a bomb throw. There have also been a few drops by receivers. Marcus Pollard put one hand out for a pass that he was going to get hit. Milke Williams has dropped at least 2 passes. I'm starting to think that Harrington would be better if he had confidence in his receivers. I have read in some articles that a few of his interceptions in the past have been because of receivers running incorrect routes. The result is he waits until the route is complete and there is no timing whatsoever. Regardless - the Lions cling to a 4 point lead at half time. It was an ugly half. If the Lions remain inept on offense I fear the game will go to the Ravens.
2:55 - The Lions just stopped them on the firs possession of the second half. Thank God. Just out of Bryant's FG range. (sigh) at this point I just want them to hold on. But I know in order to do that they have to be aggressive.
Every time I clap the dog barks. I wonder if she's on our side? She's in the bedroom with Rach watching the Browns game (the Browns are Rachael's team). I don't know if the dog is actually watching the game, but it'd make sense as she could be an honerary member of the "Dawg Pound." (corny, I know.)
2:58 - Run to Jones. This guy has to get going. The announcers echo my sentiment. Either I'm smart or it's just that obvious.
3:00 - They must have heard me. 3 straight runs to K. Jones. and...uh-oh...he fumbled... maybe...wait...okay...whew -tripping called on the defense, Lions keep the ball. Man, the Ravens have been sloppy. I think that's the only reason the Lions are still in the game.
3:02 - Marcus Pollard - again - does not run the route properly and there's an incomplete pass. He could have had a 20 yard gain there.
3:04 - Kevin Johnson catches one for 10 yards - this is the only guy that Harrington has good timing with.
3:06 - Scott Fines? Who is this guy? He just made a catch for a first down inside the 10! What the Hell... GO SCOTTY!
Timeout Baltimore
Time for another beer.
3:09 - Kevin Jones throws Will Demps off like a rag doll and gains a couple.
3:11 - Suggs (for the Ravens) is thrown out of the game for contact with an official. Mike Carey is the only official I know by name he seems to call every single game. I swear, he's Superman.
3:12 - 2 runs from the 2. No TD so far. They need a TD. If Baltimore stops them... and they did. Damn. Wait 2 flags? The commentator says - "no idea what they did be but it can't be good...." no kidding. For who? Unsportsman like conduct against the Ravens. 1st and goal for the Lion-kitties... another sigh of relief.
3:14 - Run to Jones. He dives, and doesn't get in. Ugh. They can't choke here.
3:15 - Run to Jones... not in again... and Kevin Jones is hurt. The Ravens D is showing great resolve (which I reluctantly admit). This is a key possession.
3:16 - Atrose Pinner gets in... THANK GOD! Man, I can't believe it... and of course, it's challenged (reviewed by instant replay).
3:19 - There is no good replay angle. So....
3:20 - The ruling on the field stands! Sweet. Not enough cameras I guess, because I don't think he actually got in.
3:22 - #46 is ejected from the game for - guess what? - contact with an official. The Ravens got 30 yards worth of penalties on an extra point play. Unbelievable. The Ravens are coming unglued... actually, they probably came unglued a number of plays ago. Replay shows that Ed Reed should have been the one ejected.
3:29 - Deflected pass - 4th down for Baltimore.
3:31 - R.W. McQuarters - runs it down to inside the 20 and then there is a 15 yard facemask by Baltimore.
When did the braids out of the helmet become so popular?
3:32 - Artose Pinner runs down to the 1.
3:40 - "The wheels are starting to fall off" the commentator says in reference to the Ravens... ummm... that happened a long time ago. The wheels are off, and the car is on cinder blocks. Illegal block in the back by the Ravens... I am so happy right now. There is nothing more that I would want than the Lions beating the Ravens. I hate the Ravens.
3:45 - The Ravens have had 21 penalties. Almost 150 yards. I thought they were disciplined, but they are doing a great impersonation of the Raiders this week.
3:49 - A 15 yard penalty on Derick Mason. He caught a ball out of bounds and threw the ball at the wall when it was called incomplete. He's a baby.
3:50 - It seems the Ravens may break the record for penalties in a game! Only one more... these guys are above average? They were selected by some to go to the Super Bowl? If the score holds up the Ravens will have 1 win in 4 games in a division with the undefeated Bengals and the Steelers.
3:51 - The 3rd penalty is called on the Lions. The 3rd - the Ravens have 21.
3:53 - The Ravens score a TD... I am again worried about this game.
4:00 - Shawn Bryson runs for a 77 yard touchdown! 34-17 the Lions on top. How incredible will this win be without 2 of their top receivers? No Charles Rogers. No Roy Williams. 34 points. And it's against the #2 defense in the NFL. Deon Sanders just couldn't catch up... I never liked him much either. Even after he 'found Jesus.'
4:07 - The Ravens fumble. Dre Bly recovers. He's had 2 ints and 1 fumble recovery... nice game for him.
4:08 - I haven't seen Kevin Jones in a while. I wonder where he is? Did he get that hurt on the goal line?
4:22 - Lions win! Hallelujah! I can go to work and not take crap from anybody!
It was as ugly of a win that could be had. Harrington threw for less than 100 yards. The Ravens took so many penalties that they were backed up almost back to Baltimore from Detroit.
5:24 - I am watching the Ravens post game and listen to them cry. The consensus is that Billick (the Ravens coach) has to go. A lot of people are talking about the great goal line stand the Ravens had. I think it's lost on them that the Lions scored a TD on that drive. But I guess you have to find something positive.
Did I mention I don't like the Ravens? I can't wait to listen to the radio shows tomorrow.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Me no wanna play!
Last year, before the NFL draft. Eli Manning declared that he would not play for San Diego - who had the first pick. He said that he would sit out. Here was a college kid who looked like he thought he was about the rules of the NFL and wanted to manipulate things to get his way. There were some reasons cited, leading to he felt he had a better chance for a championship elsewhere (by the way the Chargers wen to the playoffs last year). He, frankly, came off as a whiney, spoiled little boy - who thought he could do what ever he wanted because he was a "Manning."
I had a problem with this because he got away with it. The Chargers drafted him and then traded him to the NY Giants. So my dislike for Eli began. I knew he was going to be a good QB, but I didn't want him to be. Anyway, this brings us to last night. NY Giants vs. San Diego Chargers in San Diego.
The San Diego fans booed and booed. They yelled, and wanted him to fall flat on his face. I didn't want that. It doesn't matter because he played extremely well.
Here's why I didn't want Eli to fall flat on his face. I wanted him to play well, and I wanted the Giants to get beaten (which is what happened) because I wanted San Diego to show Eli that they were the better team. That all the way around, San Diego had much better players than little Eli gave them credit for; that they were better coached than Eli thought; that they would beat him and his team in spite of his best efforts. And that's what happened. It was close in the first half as it ended with the score of 21-20 in favor of the Chargers, but the Chargers took control and poured it on in the second half, and won 45-23.
I know Eli will be a good pro. But Dan Marino was one of the top QBs ever, and didn't win a championship. I can only hope that karma dictates that a) Eli doesn't win a championship and Peyton Manning does. Or, if Eli does win a championship that the Chargers win one first.
Regardless - the Chargers took Eli's best shot last night, and beat him down handily. I think it's time for football to have a curse like baseball does, and New York needs one against them rather than for them anyway. Who knows. 80 years from now maybe the Giants will be talking about the Eli Manning curse.
I had a problem with this because he got away with it. The Chargers drafted him and then traded him to the NY Giants. So my dislike for Eli began. I knew he was going to be a good QB, but I didn't want him to be. Anyway, this brings us to last night. NY Giants vs. San Diego Chargers in San Diego.
The San Diego fans booed and booed. They yelled, and wanted him to fall flat on his face. I didn't want that. It doesn't matter because he played extremely well.
Here's why I didn't want Eli to fall flat on his face. I wanted him to play well, and I wanted the Giants to get beaten (which is what happened) because I wanted San Diego to show Eli that they were the better team. That all the way around, San Diego had much better players than little Eli gave them credit for; that they were better coached than Eli thought; that they would beat him and his team in spite of his best efforts. And that's what happened. It was close in the first half as it ended with the score of 21-20 in favor of the Chargers, but the Chargers took control and poured it on in the second half, and won 45-23.
I know Eli will be a good pro. But Dan Marino was one of the top QBs ever, and didn't win a championship. I can only hope that karma dictates that a) Eli doesn't win a championship and Peyton Manning does. Or, if Eli does win a championship that the Chargers win one first.
Regardless - the Chargers took Eli's best shot last night, and beat him down handily. I think it's time for football to have a curse like baseball does, and New York needs one against them rather than for them anyway. Who knows. 80 years from now maybe the Giants will be talking about the Eli Manning curse.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
I wonder.....
what a week. i have worked late every night. I am tired. I am cranky. I need a little lift in my disposition.
Here's one thing I always wondered - let's say it's a Tuesday. You have to work from 9:00 - 6:00. Would you rather a) have it be a sun shiny day and have to be working inside all day missing it or b) would you rather it be a rainy day and think "I'm glad it's not my day off"?
Here's something else - there is one gas station within a mile from the office - right on the way to the I-83 (which I take to get home). Any other gas station is out of my way and easily extends my travel time by 20 min - 30 min. The nearby gas station closes anywhere between 5:30 - 6:00. And it's not the same time daily. So even on days I get out of work on time, if I need gas, I usually have to drive around a lot. It has been a large number of years since I have seen a gas station close so early. And, "no" they don't have the Pay-at-the-pump machines, so you have to pay inside. So it's not like they close the Convenience Store (an Oxy Moron in this case) and can leave the pumps on. I wonder if that place makes money...
Nice thing of the day. In a training class today - someone mentioned it was his birthday. Another guy - who didn't know this guy prior to class - went out and bought cupcakes to celebrate the birthday, and had enough for everyone. That was a really cool gesture.
What's today?
My patience IS thin....
Here's one thing I always wondered - let's say it's a Tuesday. You have to work from 9:00 - 6:00. Would you rather a) have it be a sun shiny day and have to be working inside all day missing it or b) would you rather it be a rainy day and think "I'm glad it's not my day off"?
Here's something else - there is one gas station within a mile from the office - right on the way to the I-83 (which I take to get home). Any other gas station is out of my way and easily extends my travel time by 20 min - 30 min. The nearby gas station closes anywhere between 5:30 - 6:00. And it's not the same time daily. So even on days I get out of work on time, if I need gas, I usually have to drive around a lot. It has been a large number of years since I have seen a gas station close so early. And, "no" they don't have the Pay-at-the-pump machines, so you have to pay inside. So it's not like they close the Convenience Store (an Oxy Moron in this case) and can leave the pumps on. I wonder if that place makes money...
Nice thing of the day. In a training class today - someone mentioned it was his birthday. Another guy - who didn't know this guy prior to class - went out and bought cupcakes to celebrate the birthday, and had enough for everyone. That was a really cool gesture.
What's today?
My patience IS thin....
Friday, September 16, 2005
On Top the Cage
I consider myself a decent person overall. I go to work and work hard. I love and care for my wife. I love and care for my family. I don't commit crimes. I live my life quietly and don't really bother anybody. I think I am happy most of the time. I feel like I am fairly giving as a person.
But sometimes, by doing these things, I somehow anger some people. I'm not sure how, but it happens, because I never intend it. People take things the wrong way, or too personally, then I become a target. I guess I'm an easy one. I mean, I guess it's easy to take my simple lifestyle and mistake it for apathy. I don't say much, so that must mean I don't care to some people. I don't get too riled up about negative things and I don't get too excited about positive things - and people mistake that for being emotionless. I just roll with what life hands me and adapt accordingly. That is just the way I am.
So when I am made a target and challenged - it brings out the competitive side. I go from quiet and non-assuming to almost fierce. Unfortunately, I have to control that too - to a degree. I make mistakes like everyone else in life - but like everyone who makes mistakes - decisions are made with information available at the time. Sometimes they end up being the wrong decision. But I always, always, have justification for why I made the decision I made. I can produce a laundry list of evidence of support for making a decision. It doesn't make it right, but it does justify it and defend it.
It's not wise to challenge me, in general. I have lost my fair share of 'challenges' but I have won my fair share too. The bad thing is, it always comes out nasty. I don't care if I win, but if you hurt me and/oor my wife - I will come at you hard with guns a-blazin'.
Just because I am quiet doesn't mean I can be walked on and over. Haven't you heard? It's the quiet ones you have to worry about.
But sometimes, by doing these things, I somehow anger some people. I'm not sure how, but it happens, because I never intend it. People take things the wrong way, or too personally, then I become a target. I guess I'm an easy one. I mean, I guess it's easy to take my simple lifestyle and mistake it for apathy. I don't say much, so that must mean I don't care to some people. I don't get too riled up about negative things and I don't get too excited about positive things - and people mistake that for being emotionless. I just roll with what life hands me and adapt accordingly. That is just the way I am.
So when I am made a target and challenged - it brings out the competitive side. I go from quiet and non-assuming to almost fierce. Unfortunately, I have to control that too - to a degree. I make mistakes like everyone else in life - but like everyone who makes mistakes - decisions are made with information available at the time. Sometimes they end up being the wrong decision. But I always, always, have justification for why I made the decision I made. I can produce a laundry list of evidence of support for making a decision. It doesn't make it right, but it does justify it and defend it.
It's not wise to challenge me, in general. I have lost my fair share of 'challenges' but I have won my fair share too. The bad thing is, it always comes out nasty. I don't care if I win, but if you hurt me and/oor my wife - I will come at you hard with guns a-blazin'.
Just because I am quiet doesn't mean I can be walked on and over. Haven't you heard? It's the quiet ones you have to worry about.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
It's the Great Pumpkin, Baltimore!
Is Tucker Carlson and Paul Simon (not the singer) the only people left wearing bow ties? Are they waiting for them to 'come back' like the flipped up collar and Care Bears? Does anyone remember when they were in style last?
Yay football is back! I live in Baltimore. I am not a Ravens fan. I seem to always have to say that. Anyway, I watched the Ravens game the other day and their Quarterback got injured. Apparently the crowd cheered when that happened. I have listened to Baltimore chastise this quarterback (a 24 year old kid) for not coming through. He has had poor (or below average) completion percentages in the past (50% - 55%). But he left this game with 65% completion. He drove his team into scoring position 3 times to have the kicker miss all three field goal attempts. So I have been frustrated because the city has really not given this kid a chance, and now they cheer him getting injured.
A couple people told me today that the city is upset because the head coach has backed him all the way - singing the praises of 'potential,' and 'you just wait and see' type of attitude. So he has the city on the edge of its seats saying "any minute now.... wait for it...." The sad thing is the QB (Kyle Boller) will never be able to win over these fans.
So it seems to me as if the coach is Linus touting the Great Pumpkin and its impending arrival. The city is Sally who stays in the pumpkin patch with Linus all night waiting, and waiting. Boller is Snoopy - who shows up at the pumpkin patch to incur the rant of Sally.
I went a long way for that analogy - but I think it works.
Yay football is back! I live in Baltimore. I am not a Ravens fan. I seem to always have to say that. Anyway, I watched the Ravens game the other day and their Quarterback got injured. Apparently the crowd cheered when that happened. I have listened to Baltimore chastise this quarterback (a 24 year old kid) for not coming through. He has had poor (or below average) completion percentages in the past (50% - 55%). But he left this game with 65% completion. He drove his team into scoring position 3 times to have the kicker miss all three field goal attempts. So I have been frustrated because the city has really not given this kid a chance, and now they cheer him getting injured.
A couple people told me today that the city is upset because the head coach has backed him all the way - singing the praises of 'potential,' and 'you just wait and see' type of attitude. So he has the city on the edge of its seats saying "any minute now.... wait for it...." The sad thing is the QB (Kyle Boller) will never be able to win over these fans.
So it seems to me as if the coach is Linus touting the Great Pumpkin and its impending arrival. The city is Sally who stays in the pumpkin patch with Linus all night waiting, and waiting. Boller is Snoopy - who shows up at the pumpkin patch to incur the rant of Sally.
I went a long way for that analogy - but I think it works.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
I was destined to write this.
One of my friends and I were talking the other night about destiny. Does it exist? I say yes - he says no. Though I didn't bring it up at the time, I think I have found definitive proof that destiny does exist. You may ask: How did you do it? Did you find the answer in physics or science? How big was the study group for this grand experiment?
Well, it wasn't as complicated as all that. I found the answer in commercials. That's right. More specifically - commercials for movies.
Each movie commercial has one thing in common: a voice over guy with with a deep voice that is able to create anticipation. People who are born with this voice are destined to be voice-over guys. I know this because you don't encounter them anywhere else.
I have never gone through a drive thru and heard the voice-over guy take my order. ("That'll be one Whopper... the most intense taste this summer and it is.... $1.99!). I have never heard a voice-over guy real estate agent ("a two car garage has enough room for.... a work area!). You don't encounter him in Insurance, or banking. Why? Because they were destined to be movie voice-over guys.
100% proof. The defense rests.
Well, it wasn't as complicated as all that. I found the answer in commercials. That's right. More specifically - commercials for movies.
Each movie commercial has one thing in common: a voice over guy with with a deep voice that is able to create anticipation. People who are born with this voice are destined to be voice-over guys. I know this because you don't encounter them anywhere else.
I have never gone through a drive thru and heard the voice-over guy take my order. ("That'll be one Whopper... the most intense taste this summer and it is.... $1.99!). I have never heard a voice-over guy real estate agent ("a two car garage has enough room for.... a work area!). You don't encounter him in Insurance, or banking. Why? Because they were destined to be movie voice-over guys.
100% proof. The defense rests.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express?
I'm a doctor!
Ok... maybe not. But we've all done it. If you say you haven't done the following - you are lying, or -in fact - a doctor.
Yesterday a co-worker wasn't feeling too well. At this point I noticed that no matter who you are, if someone tells you that they are feeling off and they don't know why, you ask questions; "Did you eat something different?" "Has this happened before?" "Did you take any medication?" "How long has this been going on?" These probing questions may be valuable to someone who knows what the hell they are talking about.
What do we expect to do with the answers? Do we really think we are going to accurately diagnose anything? Even if we do, would you suggest that this person listen to you over going to a doctor? Especially given the state of malpractice insurance.
Parking -
At work we are in a parking lot upheaval... literally. There is construction going on, so people have to either parallel park on the street close to the building or park in an overflow lot waaaaaaaay away from the building.
Ok. So here's what happens. A car pulls up to the curb first and parks along the side - it's the first on to park. And from then on the cars parallel park simply by filing in behind the previous one. I'm fine with that.
But looking at all of them filed in, and it seems each person either a) thinks the next person is going to pull so closely behind them that it could trap them in or b) that they have no depth perception because there is about 4-5 feet between each car. If they'd just move up 2 feet - I bet 10 cars could park a little closer to the building. I guess this happens when people don't have lines guiding them on how close to be.
It's amazing how people obey lines. "Well the line goes that way, so let's follow it." It's also amazing how angry people get when others don't obey lines. "Look at that ... they're straddling the line, that takes up 2 spaces!"
Think about this - Drive thrus at fast food restaurants, not only have a line showing where the drive thru is (which is necessary sometimes) but a line guiding you AROUND the buildingto pick up your food!! I wonder if this was natural to do, or if someone actually drove off into a bush trying to find the pay window. "I didn't know where to go (sob, sob). I thought the people in the bush would give me my cheeseburger."
"Well now I guess we gotta put a line showin' people where to go."
I just realized how powerful lines can be.
Now, please exit this way ------------------------------->
Ok... maybe not. But we've all done it. If you say you haven't done the following - you are lying, or -in fact - a doctor.
Yesterday a co-worker wasn't feeling too well. At this point I noticed that no matter who you are, if someone tells you that they are feeling off and they don't know why, you ask questions; "Did you eat something different?" "Has this happened before?" "Did you take any medication?" "How long has this been going on?" These probing questions may be valuable to someone who knows what the hell they are talking about.
What do we expect to do with the answers? Do we really think we are going to accurately diagnose anything? Even if we do, would you suggest that this person listen to you over going to a doctor? Especially given the state of malpractice insurance.
Parking -
At work we are in a parking lot upheaval... literally. There is construction going on, so people have to either parallel park on the street close to the building or park in an overflow lot waaaaaaaay away from the building.
Ok. So here's what happens. A car pulls up to the curb first and parks along the side - it's the first on to park. And from then on the cars parallel park simply by filing in behind the previous one. I'm fine with that.
But looking at all of them filed in, and it seems each person either a) thinks the next person is going to pull so closely behind them that it could trap them in or b) that they have no depth perception because there is about 4-5 feet between each car. If they'd just move up 2 feet - I bet 10 cars could park a little closer to the building. I guess this happens when people don't have lines guiding them on how close to be.
It's amazing how people obey lines. "Well the line goes that way, so let's follow it." It's also amazing how angry people get when others don't obey lines. "Look at that ... they're straddling the line, that takes up 2 spaces!"
Think about this - Drive thrus at fast food restaurants, not only have a line showing where the drive thru is (which is necessary sometimes) but a line guiding you AROUND the buildingto pick up your food!! I wonder if this was natural to do, or if someone actually drove off into a bush trying to find the pay window. "I didn't know where to go (sob, sob). I thought the people in the bush would give me my cheeseburger."
"Well now I guess we gotta put a line showin' people where to go."
I just realized how powerful lines can be.
Now, please exit this way ------------------------------->
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Couple Quick Things
Movie Review -
Garden State - Don't rent it... it's actually 'Scary Movie 3.'
Kidding. We went and rented 'Garden State' over the weekend. We had gone out to dinner, got home got ready for bed and I opened up the case to find - you guessed it - 'Scary Movie 3.' How disappointing. I felt like when Della Reese tells Fred Sanford in 'Harlem Nights' that her mouth was all ready for some orange juice and there was just a swallow left in the container (Sanford delivers a classic movie line here by saying "Well then, swallow it and shut the f___ up, bitch!" )
We did not watch the movie. I took it back, and got the real one... haven't watched it yet either.
How often does Sean Coombs (aka Puffy, aka Puff Daddy, aka P. Diddy, aka Diddy) change his name? Every time he feels his star fading. Try having this conversation:
"Hey, did he change his name?"
"No he just changed it."
"Did he?"
"Yeah, Diddy."
"That's what I just asked: Did he?"
"Huh?"
"Forget it."
All because a guy wanted to change his name to a childhood euphemism for 'urinate.' Was it worth it?
Garden State - Don't rent it... it's actually 'Scary Movie 3.'
Kidding. We went and rented 'Garden State' over the weekend. We had gone out to dinner, got home got ready for bed and I opened up the case to find - you guessed it - 'Scary Movie 3.' How disappointing. I felt like when Della Reese tells Fred Sanford in 'Harlem Nights' that her mouth was all ready for some orange juice and there was just a swallow left in the container (Sanford delivers a classic movie line here by saying "Well then, swallow it and shut the f___ up, bitch!" )
We did not watch the movie. I took it back, and got the real one... haven't watched it yet either.
How often does Sean Coombs (aka Puffy, aka Puff Daddy, aka P. Diddy, aka Diddy) change his name? Every time he feels his star fading. Try having this conversation:
"Hey, did he change his name?"
"No he just changed it."
"Did he?"
"Yeah, Diddy."
"That's what I just asked: Did he?"
"Huh?"
"Forget it."
All because a guy wanted to change his name to a childhood euphemism for 'urinate.' Was it worth it?
Monday, August 29, 2005
Is it raining in New Orleans?
The big story over the weekend was Katrina. The Category 5 hurricane heading straight for New Orleans. This is the biggest storm this town will have seen in its residents' lifetime. So big, they called for an evacuation of the city. It will be catastrophic and devastating when it is finished.
So, first - This was on the news all weekend, and there were massive amounts of people leaving. So what remained are the people lacking common sense. People who decided that evacuation just wasn't for them. I actually heard someone report that people there were sick of evacuating every year, and they just weren't going to do it. What kind of sense does this make? It's not like they are being told to do household chores - something that people get sick of doing. It's being suggested that they save their life. If they don't want to evacuate, then I suggest that they do it one more time, and then move.
One gentlemen decided he was staying because if it was his time to die, then it was his time to die... again, I don't dispute that everyone may have "their time," but at the same point, should you put yourself in harm's way to tempt it? "I'm going to dress as a deer and crawl around in the woods on opening day of hunting season. Don't worry, I will only get shot if it's 'my time.'" They were talking about a surge of over 20 feet of water, for a city already below sea level... just get out, man.
Then I heard analysis - and the most disturbing was this: They do not bury the deceased underground there. Because it it under sea level, and the ground could not handle it. So they have above ground crypts. With that type of surge and wind power, someone was talking about bodies - corpses -floating around, and actually eventually contaminating the water supply. Ew.
So, a Category 5 hurricane Katrina is heading for New Orleans, one that will devastate the city, probably produce a death count, even cause the currently deceased to be uprooted from their tombs. People are fleeing the city in thousands. There's only one thing to do: Send a weather correspondent and a camera man to stand in the middle of it.
This has to be one of the worst jobs ever. The topper of it all is they stick these people smack dab in the middle of a storm that was called "catastrophic," and everyone asks the same question: "What's it like?" This morning, while watching the news, one correspondent was standing in the middle of it; wind blowing so hard you could barely hear him; and was saying how the rain felt like thousands of needles hitting his face. Wow - that's painful... and someone made him go there.
And they end with "stay safe." Uh-huh. Now if anyone was really concerned about this guy's safety, they wouldn't have sent him there. Couldn't they have set up cameras around the place and have people comment on them from a remote location? "Look at that rain. Man, I'm glad I'm not in that."
Because that's exactly what I'm saying.
So, first - This was on the news all weekend, and there were massive amounts of people leaving. So what remained are the people lacking common sense. People who decided that evacuation just wasn't for them. I actually heard someone report that people there were sick of evacuating every year, and they just weren't going to do it. What kind of sense does this make? It's not like they are being told to do household chores - something that people get sick of doing. It's being suggested that they save their life. If they don't want to evacuate, then I suggest that they do it one more time, and then move.
One gentlemen decided he was staying because if it was his time to die, then it was his time to die... again, I don't dispute that everyone may have "their time," but at the same point, should you put yourself in harm's way to tempt it? "I'm going to dress as a deer and crawl around in the woods on opening day of hunting season. Don't worry, I will only get shot if it's 'my time.'" They were talking about a surge of over 20 feet of water, for a city already below sea level... just get out, man.
Then I heard analysis - and the most disturbing was this: They do not bury the deceased underground there. Because it it under sea level, and the ground could not handle it. So they have above ground crypts. With that type of surge and wind power, someone was talking about bodies - corpses -floating around, and actually eventually contaminating the water supply. Ew.
So, a Category 5 hurricane Katrina is heading for New Orleans, one that will devastate the city, probably produce a death count, even cause the currently deceased to be uprooted from their tombs. People are fleeing the city in thousands. There's only one thing to do: Send a weather correspondent and a camera man to stand in the middle of it.
This has to be one of the worst jobs ever. The topper of it all is they stick these people smack dab in the middle of a storm that was called "catastrophic," and everyone asks the same question: "What's it like?" This morning, while watching the news, one correspondent was standing in the middle of it; wind blowing so hard you could barely hear him; and was saying how the rain felt like thousands of needles hitting his face. Wow - that's painful... and someone made him go there.
And they end with "stay safe." Uh-huh. Now if anyone was really concerned about this guy's safety, they wouldn't have sent him there. Couldn't they have set up cameras around the place and have people comment on them from a remote location? "Look at that rain. Man, I'm glad I'm not in that."
Because that's exactly what I'm saying.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Shorts
It doesn't bother me that cartoon characters rarely change clothes.
----------------------
On Aug 12th, I opened up iTunes and decided I would listen to every single song I had. So I would play it while I was in my office working. Pause it when I left, but essentially it's playing for at least 6 hours a day. As of today (Aug 24th), I am maybe about 33% of the way through. I have a lot of freakin' music.
---------------------
I love my mother - but today my brother was IMing her about his cat and playfully made a statement that his cat had opposable thumbs (which, of course, he does not). To which my mom replied - what is that? . . . .i thought it was posable thumbs?
So then it starts
Adam says - posable, like modeling?
Jill: yes(?) . .. what are opposable?
All the while, Adam is copying these and IMing me so I can share in the fun.
So I said: she can't decipher "oppose" from that?
Adam says to me: i dont know. i dont even know how to respond
So I sent her the definition:
opposable - adjective (Zoology) 1. (of the thumb of a primate) capable of moving toward and touching the other digits on the same hand.
Then she asks me: how are you getting my im's to adam about posable thumbs?
That's my mom.
-----------------------------
It's 82 degrees outside, I'm in shorts and I have to wear a fleece in my office to stay warm.
----------------------
On Aug 12th, I opened up iTunes and decided I would listen to every single song I had. So I would play it while I was in my office working. Pause it when I left, but essentially it's playing for at least 6 hours a day. As of today (Aug 24th), I am maybe about 33% of the way through. I have a lot of freakin' music.
---------------------
I love my mother - but today my brother was IMing her about his cat and playfully made a statement that his cat had opposable thumbs (which, of course, he does not). To which my mom replied - what is that? . . . .i thought it was posable thumbs?
So then it starts
Adam says - posable, like modeling?
Jill: yes(?) . .. what are opposable?
All the while, Adam is copying these and IMing me so I can share in the fun.
So I said: she can't decipher "oppose" from that?
Adam says to me: i dont know. i dont even know how to respond
So I sent her the definition:
opposable - adjective (Zoology) 1. (of the thumb of a primate) capable of moving toward and touching the other digits on the same hand.
Then she asks me: how are you getting my im's to adam about posable thumbs?
That's my mom.
-----------------------------
It's 82 degrees outside, I'm in shorts and I have to wear a fleece in my office to stay warm.
Monday, August 22, 2005
grrrrrrrrrrr
Wow, did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Maybe it's because yesterday, I took a nap (which I rarely do) and then had a hard time sleeping last night - not getting to sleep well past 1:00am. Then I had to be at work at 7:00 this morning to help one of my trainers get ready for an 8:00 class.
Then I had to deal with my office nemesis... that's right - the copying machine. Every time I use it, I feel like Michael Bolton in "Office Space," and the fax machine (if you haven't seen the movie - go rent it. It's a classic). It just frustrating, but at the same time, there is not a thing you can do about it. Nothing. I mean the first copy I tried to make the thing literally started spewing the original pages into the air (I think some went behind the copier itself - hope they did need those pages).
The thing is old, and worn. For some reason it has numerous paper jams. Sometimes, it tells you there's a paper jam, when there is not one. My favorite - it doesn't collate automatically... so if you forget to press a button, then you end up with 200 pages of un-collated material.
So dealing with that first thing this morning has left me in a cranky mood.
Then I had to deal with my office nemesis... that's right - the copying machine. Every time I use it, I feel like Michael Bolton in "Office Space," and the fax machine (if you haven't seen the movie - go rent it. It's a classic). It just frustrating, but at the same time, there is not a thing you can do about it. Nothing. I mean the first copy I tried to make the thing literally started spewing the original pages into the air (I think some went behind the copier itself - hope they did need those pages).
The thing is old, and worn. For some reason it has numerous paper jams. Sometimes, it tells you there's a paper jam, when there is not one. My favorite - it doesn't collate automatically... so if you forget to press a button, then you end up with 200 pages of un-collated material.
So dealing with that first thing this morning has left me in a cranky mood.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Can I get a "hoo ha?"
I'm a geek
Yep. It finally happened. I made a joke the other day about computer terminology. I can't even remember the exact joke, but I know it had something to do with a hard drive and the storage space on it. Immediately after I said it I had a moment of introspection where I realized; I am a nerd.
Have you seen the commercial for "The Owl?" It's a magnifying device that is about the size of a credit card for people with bad sight. It even has a little light on one side. The commercial shows people using it for phone books and menus... Well, in it a guy says "now people won't make fun of me for not being able to see." Uh-huh. People won't make fun of you for pulling out this goofy gadget to see? Why not just get glasses? I mean, really. Is it so horrible to wear glasses - or even contacts - that someone would be willing to use this stupid device?
How bad of an idea is "Tommy Lee Goes to College"? This guy is like, 50... okay 40's. I just don't think anyone interested in watching a show where the guy needs an adjective in front of his name for people to know who he is; "Rocker Tommy Lee."
For a guy who religiously watched the "Dukes of Hazzard" when he was a young buck, I have zero desire to watch neither the movie remake, nor the reruns of the TV show.
I reiterate my argument for "Mega M&M's" as I did for the mini's. There's no need for them. The megas are bigger, but they are still small. They say "More Chocolate!" But a 16 oz. bag is a 16 oz. bag not matter the size of the candy. So - no point.
The fact that cartoon characters rarely - if ever - change clothes never really bothered me.
There are certain movies I won't watch on regular TV. Anything by Kevin Smith, Pule Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, South Park and any movie where drugs plays a large part of the humor. It's just not worth it to have the swearing bleeped out and the drugs taken out... then the behavior seems more ridiculous.
I love online banking. It makes things so much easier.
Can I get a "Hoo Ha" two times Tuesday?
Yep. It finally happened. I made a joke the other day about computer terminology. I can't even remember the exact joke, but I know it had something to do with a hard drive and the storage space on it. Immediately after I said it I had a moment of introspection where I realized; I am a nerd.
Have you seen the commercial for "The Owl?" It's a magnifying device that is about the size of a credit card for people with bad sight. It even has a little light on one side. The commercial shows people using it for phone books and menus... Well, in it a guy says "now people won't make fun of me for not being able to see." Uh-huh. People won't make fun of you for pulling out this goofy gadget to see? Why not just get glasses? I mean, really. Is it so horrible to wear glasses - or even contacts - that someone would be willing to use this stupid device?
How bad of an idea is "Tommy Lee Goes to College"? This guy is like, 50... okay 40's. I just don't think anyone interested in watching a show where the guy needs an adjective in front of his name for people to know who he is; "Rocker Tommy Lee."
For a guy who religiously watched the "Dukes of Hazzard" when he was a young buck, I have zero desire to watch neither the movie remake, nor the reruns of the TV show.
I reiterate my argument for "Mega M&M's" as I did for the mini's. There's no need for them. The megas are bigger, but they are still small. They say "More Chocolate!" But a 16 oz. bag is a 16 oz. bag not matter the size of the candy. So - no point.
The fact that cartoon characters rarely - if ever - change clothes never really bothered me.
There are certain movies I won't watch on regular TV. Anything by Kevin Smith, Pule Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, South Park and any movie where drugs plays a large part of the humor. It's just not worth it to have the swearing bleeped out and the drugs taken out... then the behavior seems more ridiculous.
I love online banking. It makes things so much easier.
Can I get a "Hoo Ha" two times Tuesday?
Thursday, August 11, 2005
If I Owned a Bar...
I decided today, that if I owned a bar I would name the establishment "Therapy."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to Therapy."
"Oh yeah? Do you think it'll get your head straight?"
"Hope not..."
"What did you do last night?"
"I went to Therapy."
"How was it?"
"It was great, it was Ladies Night, and there was a Wet T-Shirt contest."
"Who is your therapist?"
You get the point...
On another note:
Ok, let's say that you are a fat, fat man. You put on a shirt. Uh-oh, your belly literally hangs out of the bottom of the shirt to the point your belly button is showing. What is the thought process after that? How do you justify to yourself that it's either okay, or not that bad?
You've seen one, right? I mean some of them aren't even that fat. The shirt is just too small for them. I can't imagine looking in the mirror and saying, "I don't think anyone will notice." I mean they have to notice themselves, don't they? How much shorter would it have to be before they don't leave the house?
This type of thing fascinates me. I know that there are people out there that wear odd clothing - and that's their style. If you are into something, then wear it, but something like this is a universal faux pas, yes?
Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm wrong. I just always though that the people who could get away with their shirts being short a) were female and b) did not have a belly that protrudes over their pants (by the way - both have to be true... I have seen overweight women with the same issue, and it's not attractive either).
There are somethings that I just find a tiny but frightening... this is one. Another is people who stare just a little too much.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to Therapy."
"Oh yeah? Do you think it'll get your head straight?"
"Hope not..."
"What did you do last night?"
"I went to Therapy."
"How was it?"
"It was great, it was Ladies Night, and there was a Wet T-Shirt contest."
"Who is your therapist?"
You get the point...
On another note:
Ok, let's say that you are a fat, fat man. You put on a shirt. Uh-oh, your belly literally hangs out of the bottom of the shirt to the point your belly button is showing. What is the thought process after that? How do you justify to yourself that it's either okay, or not that bad?
You've seen one, right? I mean some of them aren't even that fat. The shirt is just too small for them. I can't imagine looking in the mirror and saying, "I don't think anyone will notice." I mean they have to notice themselves, don't they? How much shorter would it have to be before they don't leave the house?
This type of thing fascinates me. I know that there are people out there that wear odd clothing - and that's their style. If you are into something, then wear it, but something like this is a universal faux pas, yes?
Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm wrong. I just always though that the people who could get away with their shirts being short a) were female and b) did not have a belly that protrudes over their pants (by the way - both have to be true... I have seen overweight women with the same issue, and it's not attractive either).
There are somethings that I just find a tiny but frightening... this is one. Another is people who stare just a little too much.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Do you remember?
Seeing at least one of the original Star Wars flicks in the theater.
13 Channels & UHF
Pong
"Dukes of Hazzard" the television show
President Reagan getting shot
President Reagan
"Pac Man Fever"
"Hellloooo! McFly!"
Owning a Ghostbusters T-Shirt
'Fore!'
Mary Lou scores a 10!
Jordan hitting a jumpshot to win the championship.... The NCAA Championship
The first Air Jordans
Seeing the first huge Super Bowl commercial by Apple that was only shown once on television - ever.
Owning a record of Michael Jackson's Thriller
Tainted Love
Jams
Christa McCollough
Borg vs. McEnroe
Black and White TV
New Coke
Owning a VCR with a wired remote control
No Remote Control
John Lennon shot
Richard Pryor burned freebasing cocaine
Michael Jackson burned from a Pepsi commercial
Coleco-vision
One For the Thumb
If you remember any of these things - Think about the year the event happened. Was it that long ago? Doesn't seem like it does it? You are getting old. If you have extensive interaction with someone who does not remember any of these - multiply that feeling by 10.
13 Channels & UHF
Pong
"Dukes of Hazzard" the television show
President Reagan getting shot
President Reagan
"Pac Man Fever"
"Hellloooo! McFly!"
Owning a Ghostbusters T-Shirt
'Fore!'
Mary Lou scores a 10!
Jordan hitting a jumpshot to win the championship.... The NCAA Championship
The first Air Jordans
Seeing the first huge Super Bowl commercial by Apple that was only shown once on television - ever.
Owning a record of Michael Jackson's Thriller
Tainted Love
Jams
Christa McCollough
Borg vs. McEnroe
Black and White TV
New Coke
Owning a VCR with a wired remote control
No Remote Control
John Lennon shot
Richard Pryor burned freebasing cocaine
Michael Jackson burned from a Pepsi commercial
Coleco-vision
One For the Thumb
If you remember any of these things - Think about the year the event happened. Was it that long ago? Doesn't seem like it does it? You are getting old. If you have extensive interaction with someone who does not remember any of these - multiply that feeling by 10.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
National Holiday
Today is the day that officially marks the return of football.
It's not reporting to training camp (Aug. 1st). It's not the first preseason game. It's not even the Hall of Fame induction or the Hall of Fame Game (first Monday night game). It is the release of the latest Madden football video game from EA Sports.
Any sports gamer marks this day on their calendar, and waits. Some even feel it should be a national holiday. A time for people - Madden Gamers - to have a day off work and organize their franchise for the upcoming season. These is a little setup that you need. A little time to explore new features.
So, I may wait until the end of the week to get this gem. Otherwise, I would be up all night tonight and not make me too productive tomorrow. I need to have the proper allotment of time to devote to it.
On the other hand, it IS Madden. And it IS Madden-Day. So, I will wrestle a little further today.
By the way, I am 30.
It's not reporting to training camp (Aug. 1st). It's not the first preseason game. It's not even the Hall of Fame induction or the Hall of Fame Game (first Monday night game). It is the release of the latest Madden football video game from EA Sports.
Any sports gamer marks this day on their calendar, and waits. Some even feel it should be a national holiday. A time for people - Madden Gamers - to have a day off work and organize their franchise for the upcoming season. These is a little setup that you need. A little time to explore new features.
So, I may wait until the end of the week to get this gem. Otherwise, I would be up all night tonight and not make me too productive tomorrow. I need to have the proper allotment of time to devote to it.
On the other hand, it IS Madden. And it IS Madden-Day. So, I will wrestle a little further today.
By the way, I am 30.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Are you awake?
Everyone has it happen. They get asked the question that need not be asked - such as "are you awake?"
The other day I was working with newly hired people. I often have my laptop with me and use it frequently. I also talk about my wife some at work. Anyway, I am working along and this guy walks up and asks me a question. I then began searching my computer for the answer. To do this, I minimized all of my windows. My wall paper is of me and my wife kissing at our wedding ceremony. The guy sees this and then asks, "Is that your wife?"
There were probably 5,000 sarcasting comments that whizzed through my brain:
"Nah, just some woman I rented for the day"
"Heck no, she's the 'stunt double.'"
"(sob) not anymore"
"one of 'em"
"what gave it away? the white dress? damn!"
"At that point? Just barely."
Yet, all I could muster was a blank, yet quizzical look. But I think he got my point anyway.
The other day I was working with newly hired people. I often have my laptop with me and use it frequently. I also talk about my wife some at work. Anyway, I am working along and this guy walks up and asks me a question. I then began searching my computer for the answer. To do this, I minimized all of my windows. My wall paper is of me and my wife kissing at our wedding ceremony. The guy sees this and then asks, "Is that your wife?"
There were probably 5,000 sarcasting comments that whizzed through my brain:
"Nah, just some woman I rented for the day"
"Heck no, she's the 'stunt double.'"
"(sob) not anymore"
"one of 'em"
"what gave it away? the white dress? damn!"
"At that point? Just barely."
Yet, all I could muster was a blank, yet quizzical look. But I think he got my point anyway.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Buuuurrrrrnnnn
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh.
grrrrrr.
booooo.
Work. Ack. Ick. Ptooey.
Man, work is beating me in the head right now. I've had a rough couple days. I am a manager of a training department. The thing about this is that I have learned about a couple clients, which technically qualifies me to train these clients. I used to train many classes for a variety of clients. But, that's not really my job now. However, for the past few months, I have found myself in the classroom more than I think I should be. Now that - in and of itself - is not what is stressful or difficult. What's particularly hard is that I am expected to train these classes and at the same time, complete all of my management duties. This makes for very long days.
I get at least 5 requests for different pieces of information a day - as a manager. Things that I could do efficiently and effectively under normal circumstances. But now, I can check my email perhaps 4 times a day - due to the class work. This means that most often I am left during class beaks and lunch trying to scrounge up information or complete certain tasks. Those breaks and lunches add up to an hour and a half. So the things get backed up and pile up. I am putting more hours in at home than I used to. I am prepping for class, and going in much earlier and leaving later... I don't mind doing this on occassion, but it is fast approaching a number of months that I have been doing this and I feel like any moment, I may crash.
No one seems to acknowledge that I am training classes. And it leaves me frustrated. At times I feel like I am trying to do the job of 3 or 4 people. My paper work is so backed up it would take me a week to catch up... I mean, a week uninterrupted - but when does that happen?
I should now say that I do like my job. I take a significant amount of pride in my work, and it will all get completed and at some point I can go back to just being a manager - but for now, I am so burned out that I wake up tired, I am ready to go to bed when I get home (though I can't I have to prep) and there is little time to actually do anything, or spend it with my loved one...
I vent to my wife everyday. She is so good at listening (or at least pretending to listen), that if I didn't have that outlet - I would drive myself nuts.
grrrrrr.
booooo.
Work. Ack. Ick. Ptooey.
Man, work is beating me in the head right now. I've had a rough couple days. I am a manager of a training department. The thing about this is that I have learned about a couple clients, which technically qualifies me to train these clients. I used to train many classes for a variety of clients. But, that's not really my job now. However, for the past few months, I have found myself in the classroom more than I think I should be. Now that - in and of itself - is not what is stressful or difficult. What's particularly hard is that I am expected to train these classes and at the same time, complete all of my management duties. This makes for very long days.
I get at least 5 requests for different pieces of information a day - as a manager. Things that I could do efficiently and effectively under normal circumstances. But now, I can check my email perhaps 4 times a day - due to the class work. This means that most often I am left during class beaks and lunch trying to scrounge up information or complete certain tasks. Those breaks and lunches add up to an hour and a half. So the things get backed up and pile up. I am putting more hours in at home than I used to. I am prepping for class, and going in much earlier and leaving later... I don't mind doing this on occassion, but it is fast approaching a number of months that I have been doing this and I feel like any moment, I may crash.
No one seems to acknowledge that I am training classes. And it leaves me frustrated. At times I feel like I am trying to do the job of 3 or 4 people. My paper work is so backed up it would take me a week to catch up... I mean, a week uninterrupted - but when does that happen?
I should now say that I do like my job. I take a significant amount of pride in my work, and it will all get completed and at some point I can go back to just being a manager - but for now, I am so burned out that I wake up tired, I am ready to go to bed when I get home (though I can't I have to prep) and there is little time to actually do anything, or spend it with my loved one...
I vent to my wife everyday. She is so good at listening (or at least pretending to listen), that if I didn't have that outlet - I would drive myself nuts.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Short and sweet
This morning I woke up in a pretty good mood. Over the last few months - mainly the summer months of June and July - work has been stressing me out a little bit. Okay, a lot... the thing is, I don't get stressed too easily. But anyway, this morning I woke up, put on a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt (after my shower of course) and thought for a brief moment - "How cool is it that I can wear this to work?"
Pretty nice to work in a laid back atmosphere where a manager can show up in shorts... so I perked up a bit. Rach deserves a happy me for a few days. Not that I have been unpleasant, but I have not been myself. I decided to not let work bother me anymore.
The End.
Pretty nice to work in a laid back atmosphere where a manager can show up in shorts... so I perked up a bit. Rach deserves a happy me for a few days. Not that I have been unpleasant, but I have not been myself. I decided to not let work bother me anymore.
The End.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Well, then who did?
When I was a young buckaroo, I would do things that I was not supposed to do. When my mom found out - occasionally I would proclaim that I didn't do it. I may blame my brother, I may blame a pet - occasionally I would blame "the other Trent" (when I was little I met another kid with my name, and used him a a scapegoat often).
As I grew older, and more mature - I started to take responsibility for my actions. Sometimes I would try to get out of something or shift blame, but I know when I am caught red-handed.
More and more, it seems that people who own up to their actions are rare. I don't know if it started with OJ using the "I didn't do it" defense in the face of overwhelming evidence and winning, or if it's just that people didn't grow up. Clinton used the "I didn't do it" defense when it came to Monica (though after presented with the evidence he kind of admitted it just barely... well, depending on what you mean by "it.")
Senator Frist made a diagnosis based on video of Terry Schiavo, saying that she was reacting, and looking.' When the autopsy concluded that she was blind and irreversibly brain dead - he said he never made a diagnosis, and never said those things.
Recently, we have Carl Rove who leaked information about a CIA operative, then says he didn't. It doesn't count since a name wasn't in the email... oh sure. But there are some who are saying that it actually "exonerates" him from wrong doing. Uh-huh. Bush says he will "fire anyone who leaked information"... then they find out Rove did, then he says he didn't say he would fire anyone who would leak information, but said that he would "fire anyone who committed a crime." You see, they are not the same thing.
On the TV show "Brat Camp" this girl says she never did cocaine. Then she is presented with the fact that coke was found in her system. She did a good job of looking shocked. She then was "no way. I don't do coke. I did it once a year ago..."
Then there are those on the talk shows who take lie detector tests, and then profess that the lie detector tests are wrong. It's so sad it's funny...
The most disappointing thing to me is that - many times - people get away with it. I don't think people believe them, they just get tired of fighting the point.
Yesterday, someone from work was 'let go.' He was quite angry. He was escorted out of the building by a Supervisor and a Manager. On his way out he punched a wall, leaving a nice-sized dent. He also kicked a set of double-doors leaving them askew. He was then called to let him know he would not be receiving his final paycheck to pay for the damages - to which he responded..."I didn't do it."
What? There were 2 people with you, buddy. People heard you throw a fit when you were leaving... how can anyone think that it was going to fly? I don't know, I guess if you want to get away with something, then just say you didn't do it. It just gets sad when someone holds onto that no matter what.... stick to the story. They look stupid.
Oddly enough, people need to learn that they will get more respect for owning up to their actions, and trying to make amends rather than clinging onto "I didn't do it." This is a lesson I learned when I was, maybe 9... some people never learn.
As I grew older, and more mature - I started to take responsibility for my actions. Sometimes I would try to get out of something or shift blame, but I know when I am caught red-handed.
More and more, it seems that people who own up to their actions are rare. I don't know if it started with OJ using the "I didn't do it" defense in the face of overwhelming evidence and winning, or if it's just that people didn't grow up. Clinton used the "I didn't do it" defense when it came to Monica (though after presented with the evidence he kind of admitted it just barely... well, depending on what you mean by "it.")
Senator Frist made a diagnosis based on video of Terry Schiavo, saying that she was reacting, and looking.' When the autopsy concluded that she was blind and irreversibly brain dead - he said he never made a diagnosis, and never said those things.
Recently, we have Carl Rove who leaked information about a CIA operative, then says he didn't. It doesn't count since a name wasn't in the email... oh sure. But there are some who are saying that it actually "exonerates" him from wrong doing. Uh-huh. Bush says he will "fire anyone who leaked information"... then they find out Rove did, then he says he didn't say he would fire anyone who would leak information, but said that he would "fire anyone who committed a crime." You see, they are not the same thing.
On the TV show "Brat Camp" this girl says she never did cocaine. Then she is presented with the fact that coke was found in her system. She did a good job of looking shocked. She then was "no way. I don't do coke. I did it once a year ago..."
Then there are those on the talk shows who take lie detector tests, and then profess that the lie detector tests are wrong. It's so sad it's funny...
The most disappointing thing to me is that - many times - people get away with it. I don't think people believe them, they just get tired of fighting the point.
Yesterday, someone from work was 'let go.' He was quite angry. He was escorted out of the building by a Supervisor and a Manager. On his way out he punched a wall, leaving a nice-sized dent. He also kicked a set of double-doors leaving them askew. He was then called to let him know he would not be receiving his final paycheck to pay for the damages - to which he responded..."I didn't do it."
What? There were 2 people with you, buddy. People heard you throw a fit when you were leaving... how can anyone think that it was going to fly? I don't know, I guess if you want to get away with something, then just say you didn't do it. It just gets sad when someone holds onto that no matter what.... stick to the story. They look stupid.
Oddly enough, people need to learn that they will get more respect for owning up to their actions, and trying to make amends rather than clinging onto "I didn't do it." This is a lesson I learned when I was, maybe 9... some people never learn.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Batman Begins
My first word was 'Batman.' So you can imagine the connection I have... thanks to my older brother.
Comic books. Funny thing - comic books. They are fantastical stories about fantastical people living in the 'real world.' The imagination and art can place these people, semi-believably, in this world. The odd thing is that when they started to translate to the big screen in the late 80's, film makers wanted to incorporate the over-exaggeration that works in the art because technology was letting them. They were focusing on the characters and their costumes. When the thing that is most compelling about the superheros - the thing that keeps people reading, is the stories. The 'people' part.
Then along came the X-Men. Marvel brought this team to life and started to try to make these characters believable in this world. They started to tell the story of the people. And they were close, save for the ending battle being held on top of the Statue of Liberty. But this started the swing back. Spiderman came out and between it and Spiderman 2, these movies were about the person. What makes the character who he is and the real struggles he faces.
"Batman Begins" is at least on par with the Spiderman movies, and possibly better than the first Spiderman movie. It tells a great story. It gets to the heart of a character, what feeds it, what motivates... It's like my wife said, "This movie answered all my Batman questions." And why shouldn't it? These movies should appeal to the everyday movie goer as much, if not more than the 'comic book fan.' My wife loved this movie. The story of Batman is interesting and compelling, and Tim Burton's Batman did okay (though the story was inaccurate - the Joker did not kill Bruce Wayne's parents) but there wasn't enough of the 'why's' and 'how's' that the movie "Batman Begins" does it better. One role that was inserted was Morgan Freeman's who plays - to some extent - what "Q" is to James Bond. He explains the gadgets, and how they work, and therefore you are not asked to believe it to make the story work.
There is simply much more going on here than a guy in a bat suit beating up bad guys.
Comic books. Funny thing - comic books. They are fantastical stories about fantastical people living in the 'real world.' The imagination and art can place these people, semi-believably, in this world. The odd thing is that when they started to translate to the big screen in the late 80's, film makers wanted to incorporate the over-exaggeration that works in the art because technology was letting them. They were focusing on the characters and their costumes. When the thing that is most compelling about the superheros - the thing that keeps people reading, is the stories. The 'people' part.
Then along came the X-Men. Marvel brought this team to life and started to try to make these characters believable in this world. They started to tell the story of the people. And they were close, save for the ending battle being held on top of the Statue of Liberty. But this started the swing back. Spiderman came out and between it and Spiderman 2, these movies were about the person. What makes the character who he is and the real struggles he faces.
"Batman Begins" is at least on par with the Spiderman movies, and possibly better than the first Spiderman movie. It tells a great story. It gets to the heart of a character, what feeds it, what motivates... It's like my wife said, "This movie answered all my Batman questions." And why shouldn't it? These movies should appeal to the everyday movie goer as much, if not more than the 'comic book fan.' My wife loved this movie. The story of Batman is interesting and compelling, and Tim Burton's Batman did okay (though the story was inaccurate - the Joker did not kill Bruce Wayne's parents) but there wasn't enough of the 'why's' and 'how's' that the movie "Batman Begins" does it better. One role that was inserted was Morgan Freeman's who plays - to some extent - what "Q" is to James Bond. He explains the gadgets, and how they work, and therefore you are not asked to believe it to make the story work.
There is simply much more going on here than a guy in a bat suit beating up bad guys.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Just in time...
Whew...
This week imagine our shock and surprise as we were laying around one evening and the 11:00 news came on (That part's not shocking). We were watching how a Bridal Shop was closing (their supplier is filing for bankruptcy) and women who not only ordered bridal gowns, but also brides maids dresses were not getting their dresses, and - oh yeah - they were not getting their money back. This was the very same bridal shop that Rach got her dress, her brides maids dresses and we rented our tuxes.
Martin's Bridal (or rather DBS) seemingly just handed some women any ol' dress they had. If a woman placed an order they were sent a 'comparable' dress - and did nothing about the bridesmaids dresses. Funny, you'd think that being in the bridal business, that they would know that to a woman - another dress is not 'comparable.' But, they are going bankrupt so maybe it's not that surprising.
I felt sorry for these poor women who got screwed over (read more about it in these links:
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/4717691/detail.html
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/money/4715005/detail.html
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/money/4720099/detail.html
At the same time, I felt fortunate that this wasn't happening to us, when it could have.
Rach was just talking about how she was going to go down there with pictures to show the woman who helped he most with the dress, I guess she won't be making that trip now.
I guess this is just more proof that timing is everything.
This week imagine our shock and surprise as we were laying around one evening and the 11:00 news came on (That part's not shocking). We were watching how a Bridal Shop was closing (their supplier is filing for bankruptcy) and women who not only ordered bridal gowns, but also brides maids dresses were not getting their dresses, and - oh yeah - they were not getting their money back. This was the very same bridal shop that Rach got her dress, her brides maids dresses and we rented our tuxes.
Martin's Bridal (or rather DBS) seemingly just handed some women any ol' dress they had. If a woman placed an order they were sent a 'comparable' dress - and did nothing about the bridesmaids dresses. Funny, you'd think that being in the bridal business, that they would know that to a woman - another dress is not 'comparable.' But, they are going bankrupt so maybe it's not that surprising.
I felt sorry for these poor women who got screwed over (read more about it in these links:
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/4717691/detail.html
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/money/4715005/detail.html
http://www.thewbalchannel.com/money/4720099/detail.html
At the same time, I felt fortunate that this wasn't happening to us, when it could have.
Rach was just talking about how she was going to go down there with pictures to show the woman who helped he most with the dress, I guess she won't be making that trip now.
I guess this is just more proof that timing is everything.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
12 items or less...
Over the weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of going to Wal-Mart, and I bought 1 item. So I made my way to the Express Lane - 12 or less.
For some reason, I think the definition of "item" needs to be posted. I always get a person in front of me with about 20 things, though they think that if they get multiples of the same item, it constitutes as being one item. "Uh, yeah I have 32 bottles of Windex... Oh, and I also have 5 snickers bars, 7 bottles of detergent, and 18 toothbrushes, that's only a total of FOUR." It apparantly needs to be explained that if it doesn't come in one container (like a 12 pack of soda) then it is multiple items. I think that the people behind this person in line should each get to punch this person in the face.
What I hate mostly, is that the Express Line bandit never gets reprimanded or exposed (though you know everyone has counted the number of items). I think there needs to be consequences, otherwise there is no deterrent for hopping in that line if you have more that the limit.
I suggest public humiliation. Have either the cashier come out and yell at the person; ask them if they can count. Hold up each item and count for them "ONE, TWO, THREEEE...." Then once their finished ask, "Ok. Here you have 18 items. The sign says that 12 is the limit. Is 18 more than 12?" Then they could ask why they were in the express line, just here them weakly say "I don't know." Then, if they still want to purchase the stuff, they have to go to the back of another line - or better yet - a line marked "Moron Line" where they have the brand new trainees working and are perpetually behind a person who bought 55 items and wants a price check on 1 sock, because it rang up $.05 more than they thought it was, and - damn it - they want their nickle.
I think that even though I am in a hurry and in the express line, I wouldn't mind waiting a few more moments to see that.
For some reason, I think the definition of "item" needs to be posted. I always get a person in front of me with about 20 things, though they think that if they get multiples of the same item, it constitutes as being one item. "Uh, yeah I have 32 bottles of Windex... Oh, and I also have 5 snickers bars, 7 bottles of detergent, and 18 toothbrushes, that's only a total of FOUR." It apparantly needs to be explained that if it doesn't come in one container (like a 12 pack of soda) then it is multiple items. I think that the people behind this person in line should each get to punch this person in the face.
What I hate mostly, is that the Express Line bandit never gets reprimanded or exposed (though you know everyone has counted the number of items). I think there needs to be consequences, otherwise there is no deterrent for hopping in that line if you have more that the limit.
I suggest public humiliation. Have either the cashier come out and yell at the person; ask them if they can count. Hold up each item and count for them "ONE, TWO, THREEEE...." Then once their finished ask, "Ok. Here you have 18 items. The sign says that 12 is the limit. Is 18 more than 12?" Then they could ask why they were in the express line, just here them weakly say "I don't know." Then, if they still want to purchase the stuff, they have to go to the back of another line - or better yet - a line marked "Moron Line" where they have the brand new trainees working and are perpetually behind a person who bought 55 items and wants a price check on 1 sock, because it rang up $.05 more than they thought it was, and - damn it - they want their nickle.
I think that even though I am in a hurry and in the express line, I wouldn't mind waiting a few more moments to see that.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Irritablility and Movie seats
No matter how hard I try.... there are days when small things just irk me. Well, maybe not so much irk. They actually make me angry. And I know I am waaaay overreacting, but I hear a murmur of some people who think they are almighty and knowledgeable talking about something as small as a video game or movie or something, and all I can think about is punching that person in the face. I think it's because of the aura of superiority that they think they have. That I wold like nothing more that just hurting them. Interesting, huh?
I don't know why I have some days that I am flat-out irritable. I know I am very unpleasant when this happens. But on some level - I don't care.
Today is one of those. But it started out bad, and didn't get worse... so I think that's actually pretty good. I mean, usually by the time I get home I am wound sooo tightlly that I want to put my head through a wall. But today, since it didn't get worse (yet), I will probably be okay.
For some reason, today I was thinking about the proper etiquette when 2 (straight) guys go to a movie theater. I mean, in the Men's Room - it is customary to leave an open stall in between you and another guy... especially if there are no dividers. If 2 guys go to a restaurant, generally you sit diagonally from each other (if at a table). You don't sit directly across from each other if you can avoid it, and by no means do you sit beside each other - I hate it when couples even do that.
So the movie theater thing isn't something I have run into very much anyway. I don't think I have seen a movie with just one other male in over 5 years and even then it was probably with my younger brother. Anyway, I imagine that if 2 guys go to a movie, that you may leave a seat in between. But if a group goes, then you can't do that because you would take up too much of the row. But at the same time, with the arm rests and everything, I can't see it being entirely wrong if there is not a seat left in between.
I don't know why I thought about that.
I don't know why I have some days that I am flat-out irritable. I know I am very unpleasant when this happens. But on some level - I don't care.
Today is one of those. But it started out bad, and didn't get worse... so I think that's actually pretty good. I mean, usually by the time I get home I am wound sooo tightlly that I want to put my head through a wall. But today, since it didn't get worse (yet), I will probably be okay.
For some reason, today I was thinking about the proper etiquette when 2 (straight) guys go to a movie theater. I mean, in the Men's Room - it is customary to leave an open stall in between you and another guy... especially if there are no dividers. If 2 guys go to a restaurant, generally you sit diagonally from each other (if at a table). You don't sit directly across from each other if you can avoid it, and by no means do you sit beside each other - I hate it when couples even do that.
So the movie theater thing isn't something I have run into very much anyway. I don't think I have seen a movie with just one other male in over 5 years and even then it was probably with my younger brother. Anyway, I imagine that if 2 guys go to a movie, that you may leave a seat in between. But if a group goes, then you can't do that because you would take up too much of the row. But at the same time, with the arm rests and everything, I can't see it being entirely wrong if there is not a seat left in between.
I don't know why I thought about that.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Rants for the Bored
Ok, ok - enough of the wedding posts here. Let me get back to some random thoughts of the last couple weeks.
Fogle You
There's a group of new Subway commercials with our favorite former fat-boy, Jared. In each he says something like "Here's something you won't find at Burger King, Wendy's and McDonald's..." Then he goes on to say something stupid like "Subway doubled their menu by allowing you to get each sub toasted." I'm sorry, but toasted bread does not make a sandwich taste different enough to claim that it's a different sandwich. That's just plain stupid.
That's like McDonald's saying that they have doubled their menu by allowing you to get a burger with BBQ sauce. Which, in my opinion, is a larger taste difference than toasted bread.
On kind of the same note - he ends the commercials by saying "And here's another thing you won't find at Burger King, Wendy's or McDonald's... me." Like I care. Like I give a flying fig where Jared eats. Trust me, his fat ass would be in McDonald's if his Subway contract didn't forbid it. How can he consider himself soooo important that people will actually not go to McDonald's because Jared doesn't go in there. What makes him think that anything he does has any effect on me whatsoever! "Well, if Jared the former fat guy isn't going, then I shouldn't either."
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.
Is it possible that I have put too much effort into not liking this guy?
Names
Bennifer. I guess that was kinda clever the first time I heard it. Then after the next 20,000 it got less and less clever. The best thing to come out of it was Ben Affleck's monologue on SNL making fun of it (Boprah... Mary Kate and Ashfleck... hee hee).
Now the entertainment media is out of control with name amalgam madness! Now we have TomKat for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. That whole thing is wrong on many levels, but the name itself is unforgivable. But at the very least those names went together, I mean they are now engaged. Recently I saw "Brangelina" for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. What the hell? I don't think they're even together (not that I care). Do people have to be reduced to one name? Is it a timesaver? Or is it a stupid ass gimmick? My vote is for the latter. Hey, I think I will change me and Rachael to Trenchael. Adam and Kelly can become Adelly, and Ryan and Renea can become Rynea.
This is neither cute, nor funny. It actually, physically, hurts me.
Pizza
The other day I over heard someone ordering a pizza. Obviously, he was trying to gauge the difference in quantity between the different sizes. So I hear "So how many slices are in a medium? Eight, huh? Ok, now how many slices in a large? Uh-huh... so how many in an Extra Large? Eight?" I wanted to yell at him THEY ALL HAVE EIGHT SLICES!!! The size of the slices is what's different. I mean really, I think most people know that round pizzas are all cut the same way. A 'slice' is not a unit of measurement, and shouldn't be treated as such. If it were a unit of measurement, my brothers and I would not have fought over the 'big slice.' But then again we did fight over the "bigger half" - so that shows you how much we knew.
Contests
Am I the only person who has a drawer full of soda bottle caps telling me that I won something (most often: another bottle of soda) that will probably never be redeemed? I wonder If I can sell them for a quarter. Then again, a) it would take too much effort to do that and b) I would probably use the money I made on soda... and then it makes less sense.
Saddam Hussain
Last week 2 soldiers who guarded Saddam Hussain went on a few interviews and told about how Saddam liked Dorito's and seemed like a 'regular guy.' The media couldn't get enough of this.
I don't know if people have seen too many movies or what, but doesn't it make sense? I mean, it's not like Saddam is going to sit there and talk about evil, or ruling the world. If he wanted companionship and conversation, that would not have been in his best interest. So just for a little socialization, he acquiesced to more normal conversation. Does the media think he was in his cell yelling "YOU WAIT AND SEE, I'LL GET YOU ALL! A HA HA HA HA HA!"?
Then there are the Dorito's. First off, they are tasty. Again - I think the media was shocked that Saddam had 'human' characteristics. I don't know what the expectation was here either. Did they think that he would just eat bat heads and drink blood? I don't know what they expected him to eat or like eating. And the Dorito's now are "Nacho Cheesier," so... I mean... who wouldn't like that?
Fogle You
There's a group of new Subway commercials with our favorite former fat-boy, Jared. In each he says something like "Here's something you won't find at Burger King, Wendy's and McDonald's..." Then he goes on to say something stupid like "Subway doubled their menu by allowing you to get each sub toasted." I'm sorry, but toasted bread does not make a sandwich taste different enough to claim that it's a different sandwich. That's just plain stupid.
That's like McDonald's saying that they have doubled their menu by allowing you to get a burger with BBQ sauce. Which, in my opinion, is a larger taste difference than toasted bread.
On kind of the same note - he ends the commercials by saying "And here's another thing you won't find at Burger King, Wendy's or McDonald's... me." Like I care. Like I give a flying fig where Jared eats. Trust me, his fat ass would be in McDonald's if his Subway contract didn't forbid it. How can he consider himself soooo important that people will actually not go to McDonald's because Jared doesn't go in there. What makes him think that anything he does has any effect on me whatsoever! "Well, if Jared the former fat guy isn't going, then I shouldn't either."
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.
Is it possible that I have put too much effort into not liking this guy?
Names
Bennifer. I guess that was kinda clever the first time I heard it. Then after the next 20,000 it got less and less clever. The best thing to come out of it was Ben Affleck's monologue on SNL making fun of it (Boprah... Mary Kate and Ashfleck... hee hee).
Now the entertainment media is out of control with name amalgam madness! Now we have TomKat for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. That whole thing is wrong on many levels, but the name itself is unforgivable. But at the very least those names went together, I mean they are now engaged. Recently I saw "Brangelina" for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. What the hell? I don't think they're even together (not that I care). Do people have to be reduced to one name? Is it a timesaver? Or is it a stupid ass gimmick? My vote is for the latter. Hey, I think I will change me and Rachael to Trenchael. Adam and Kelly can become Adelly, and Ryan and Renea can become Rynea.
This is neither cute, nor funny. It actually, physically, hurts me.
Pizza
The other day I over heard someone ordering a pizza. Obviously, he was trying to gauge the difference in quantity between the different sizes. So I hear "So how many slices are in a medium? Eight, huh? Ok, now how many slices in a large? Uh-huh... so how many in an Extra Large? Eight?" I wanted to yell at him THEY ALL HAVE EIGHT SLICES!!! The size of the slices is what's different. I mean really, I think most people know that round pizzas are all cut the same way. A 'slice' is not a unit of measurement, and shouldn't be treated as such. If it were a unit of measurement, my brothers and I would not have fought over the 'big slice.' But then again we did fight over the "bigger half" - so that shows you how much we knew.
Contests
Am I the only person who has a drawer full of soda bottle caps telling me that I won something (most often: another bottle of soda) that will probably never be redeemed? I wonder If I can sell them for a quarter. Then again, a) it would take too much effort to do that and b) I would probably use the money I made on soda... and then it makes less sense.
Saddam Hussain
Last week 2 soldiers who guarded Saddam Hussain went on a few interviews and told about how Saddam liked Dorito's and seemed like a 'regular guy.' The media couldn't get enough of this.
I don't know if people have seen too many movies or what, but doesn't it make sense? I mean, it's not like Saddam is going to sit there and talk about evil, or ruling the world. If he wanted companionship and conversation, that would not have been in his best interest. So just for a little socialization, he acquiesced to more normal conversation. Does the media think he was in his cell yelling "YOU WAIT AND SEE, I'LL GET YOU ALL! A HA HA HA HA HA!"?
Then there are the Dorito's. First off, they are tasty. Again - I think the media was shocked that Saddam had 'human' characteristics. I don't know what the expectation was here either. Did they think that he would just eat bat heads and drink blood? I don't know what they expected him to eat or like eating. And the Dorito's now are "Nacho Cheesier," so... I mean... who wouldn't like that?
Monday, June 27, 2005
Jamaican Notes
By the end of the week - we were in fact sick of listening to Bob Marley.
We were on the 3rd floor. Outside of our window, on the ground, was a shuffleboard and a life-size chess board. Sometimes we would heard the sounds of the shuffleboard, walk out on the balcony and watch people play. It was interesting, because I don't think anyone ever knew we were watching. Not that we were hiding... we just didn't yell down and say "Hey, we're up here!" Does that make us weird?
Like I said, we made up for some people. Here are a few:
Ponytail guy - he looked like a villain from a movie. Steven Segal-ish. He just looked like a punk. I think his wife was a trophy.
Whiney woman - On Monday night Couples had a cocktail party to meet the managers. There Rachael discovered a drink called 'Fantasy.' Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave, we noticed a woman crying. She seemed to be throwing a fit because of something about "they not knowing it was her anniversary." We didn't know who 'they' were, and what they were supposed to do for their anniversary, but we were pretty sure she was over-reacting. We saw her a couple times, and she seemed to be worried or whining about something most of the time.
The Hicks - Towards the end of our stay there was this couple that I heard speak one time. They were hicks. I decided. The reason I decided this was... I was at the grill wanting to get a burger, and some jerk chicken. The Hicks were beside me. The guy ordered and had a hick voice. He ordered "dem mini cake thangs." Ummm, he meant "Mini Pattys," which are similar to small calzones and could not be mistaked for a "cake." The woman behind the counter corrected him, but he persisted and said it a couple more times. When he was told it would take 10 minutes. He said, "Tin meenites!?! That lawng? Could I git a plate of fries then?" From that point on, he and his bride (who both look all of 18) were "dumb hicks," and will remain that way in our minds forever.
There were shopping trips (we didn't go on any) most days. And without fail, people came back with their hair braided. It very much reminded us of the episode of Friends when Monica got her hair braided to tame her mane. We looked at these people and could only wonder one thing - "What the hell?" As Rach said "Just because you're in Jamaica doesn't mean have to get braids." It mostly looked stupid.. touristy. It was like the t-shirts we saw on people. A lot of Bob Marley shirts, one shirt had Snoopy in dreadlocks, and various other Rastafarian themes. We could only assume that this would be the only time they would wear these shirts. Or, at least, we hoped it would. Ponytail man had a Bob Marley shirt, and a Jamaican flag shirt. It looked plain silly. Feed the machine, I guess. The only thing we didn't see was one of those Rasta hats with the dreads sewn in them (we did see them for sale, just not on someone).
Upon arrival we were given a sheet to fill out of activities. We selected the catamaran ride and dinner reservations for 2 nights. We turned it in on Monday. Our reservations were at 8:30, one for the Italian restaurant (Mon.) and one for the French restaurant (Wed.). We didn't want to do a whole lot - we wanted to have the time to do nothing. As I have been saying we really didn't pay attention to time. We looked at a watch once in a while, but didn't really keep one on us. The cocktail party on Monday started at 6:30. We could see the pier (where the cocktail party was) from our room, so when it seemed that they had been serving stuff for a while - we went over. We had reservations for 8:30 - so we did give a check of the watch. It said 7:30. We went down, had a few drinks, listened to the schpiel and after that headed to the restaurant. We went up there and told the hostess we were there for dinner. She asked what room we were in, we told her. She looked at her sheet for our room.... then flipped the page. "Oh, you're not until 8:30," she said. "What time is it now?" we responded. "It's 7:30." We had to let that sink in for a moment... how could it be 7:30... how could our watches be off... ah yes. The answer hit me - Daylight Savings Time. Jamaica doesn't follow it, and we were an hour off. This was the first time Rachael and I had been early for anything.
We noticed that evening that there was a resort worker snapping photographs. He came by us a few times and take a picture. Most times when he did that, we handed him our camera and asked him to take a picture of us. We never really figured out where the pictures he took went. Did they sell them? Were they using them for promotion? After thinking about it - we could never really say this guy worked for the resort... creepy.
Also on Monday night there was a Beach Party. They had the buffet on the beach (we had Italian that night) and then afterwards had entertainment. There was some Crab Races, which was funny. There was some performers, dancers, fire eaters, and limbo. There was also some bamboo dancing(?). Anyway, every so often there was some audience participation to put people on the spot - especially since they were most likely a little drunk.
One day we did meet a couple that seemed pretty nice. They were from New Jersey. His name was Rob, and he worked for the military. Her name was Jill, and I can't remember what she did. They were moving to San Antonio, TX soon. We had seen them before... ah yes, they were a couple who was brought on stage for some Bamboo Dancing the night before. Anyway, we sat and talked to them one day for a decent amount of time, telling stories of our wedding and work, and stuff. We decided to meet up later at the piano bar. We did and there were a few more couples in there who were a bit older. Rach and I were in the middle. There were stories of Rob and Jill and just starting out, and stories of being married for a long time. We soon realized that we really got a head start on a good marriage for 2 reasons. 1st being we are a bit older. We're a bit more mature and better equipped to handle complex relationship situations and 2nd being we've lived together for about 2 years and have dealt with a lot of things already. While Rob and Jill were talking about if their pets would get along, Rach and I have been through moving, financially struggling, periods of emotional strain together. And we've come out strong and so in love each time. She knows me better than anyone in this world - and I know her. So that all kind of made us feel better on some level. I got trashed at the piano bar though (boy did I sing along) ... so that made me feel pretty good too.
You knew it was going to happen. We had both a Continental Breakfast and the Breakfast Buffet one day. I haven't had breakfast this many days in a row since I was in high school.
We took a trip on a catamaran. We got on, looked for seats. Rach went to get a seat, and I went to get drinks. Rach then came up to me while I was still at the bar, and said that the seat she tried to get was already taken... by Ponytail guy. I knew he was a mean bastard. We found a couple seats, and had a nice trip. They played music throughout the trip, but on our way in there was one song called "Big Bamboo" that was particularly amusing. You can guess what it was actually about.
On Wednesday, we crashed. Not in a car, boat, or plane. Everything just caught up to us and we took a day and slept a lot of it. I read almost half of a book. Rach slept... we just crashed. And it was great. They were doing construction on the first floor - through the day we heard banging and hammering, and drills... ahh the sounds of Jamaica.
We also took a trip to Dunns River Falls. During this, you can climb the falls. You needed shoes in order to do that. We just wore our sneakers, the bus, however, stopped and they had Aqua Socks for rent. This was a little odd in our opinion. Anyway, you also have the option of not climbing the falls, which made sense to us. Our guide on the bus asked if there was anyone not planning on climbing. Couple's Resort took 3 busses I think. We started to make our way in, and they guy said "If you are planning on climbing the falls..." I didn't catch the rest because a woman behind me said "IF you are climbing? I didn't know we had an option. What's the alternative?" I turned looked at her and said "Not climbing, apparently." Seemed obvious enough to me. Then there was a woman complaining, no... crying about how hot it was. I don't know what she expected, being on a tropical island and everything. This is the same woman who we would also hear complain, no... cry that the water was too cold.
We divided into groups, and our main goal was to not be in the same group as the Hicks or the Crying Woman. When were at the bottom our group had to join hands. We would have to climb the falls like this. We were standing there for a couple minutes, and most people dropped hands for a moment. I had Rach on one side and another woman on the other. The other woman would not let go of my hand. I even released my grip and she didn't let go. Weird. Up the falls we went. It was pretty fun. Rach was first in line (except for our guide who took us up) and they took pictures along the way. We have a few good ones.
At one point we went back to the bird sanctuary. I don't know what the turkey did to the peacock but he was chasing that turkey in circles for at least 10 minutes.... man, they did not stop... and it was funny. Probably not as funny as it reads, but trust me on this.
About Thursday or Friday we started to notice that the people who we had gotten used to seeing at lunches, and on the beach were not as plentiful. There was a different lot. We seemed to have stayed through the standard turnover time. I went to the bar and got a beer. Some guy, who I had never seen before said "oh it's a baby beer," because they put it in a cup. To which I replied "Yeah, but I can come back for as much as I want." Idiot. Luckily, I didn't talk to him again.
At the beach there was a guy who seemed to appear out of thin air. He was on a kayak in the ocean and (I guess) selling seashells. I don't know how lucrative a business that is, but he seemed to disappear and reappear. Not once did we see him paddle away.
In the hall one day, we overheard a woman asking a resort worker about the 'Big Bamboo' song. The exchange went like this:
Woman: Hey, do you know where I can get that song they play on the catamaran?
Worker: (mumbles)
Woman: You know the 'Bamboo' song? What CD is that on? The one they play on the catamaran, you know. Oh you know, Big Bamboo, what CD is that on?
Rach and I thought it was funny lie all the workers knew every aspect of everything that happened. This guy probably has never even been on the catamaran.
On Thursday evening we were in the hotel room and I heard some water. Like the bath tub faucet was on. I walked to the bathroom and discovered water running from a vent above the toilet. After I decided that wasn't good, I called downstairs and we left. It was cleaned up when we got back. However, on Friday after dinner we went back to the room. We were on the balcony and I decided I needed to pee. So I went to the bathroom and almost seriously hurt myself as the floor was covered in water again. This time I went to the front desk, and told them about it and how I almost got hurt. Some guys came up and offered to switch our room - but we were going to leave in just a few hours, that would do us no good. I made the simple, obvious suggestion of actually fixing the problem instead of just cleaning it up.
We had a TV in the room but had it on for only 45 minutes the whole week. The Jersey couple told us we needed to check out P.O.N. - Jamaica'a answer to MTV. They were right, it was hilarious. They were videos that looked to be shot with a regular camcorder from the 80's. In one video there was a woman singing in a room and in the window behind her you saw workers just passing by and tending to what they needed. And this chick was singing away.
We took a nap on Friday night, because we had to leave the hotel at 2:15am. Woah. This was my fault really. I mean I made the reservations for the flight. We were the only ones in the lobby waiting for the van. 'Great' we thought. 'Another lovely ride in the van.' Can you sense the sarcasm there? We strolled around to kinda say good-bye to the place. Then the van showed. We hopped in. I'm not sure if it was the time of night, or the driver - but the ride to the airport was soooo smooth and peaceful. I mean, no craziness. My legs were a little cramped, but other than that... The funny thing is, I didn't sleep at all on the way to the airport. Funny, because I fell asleep with the driving maniac just a week before.
We got to the airport, and there were 2 people there: a mother and son combo (the son had a Rasta sweatband on his wrist...). That was it. Us and them. We had 4 bags, and I'm pretty sure they had 50. It was 4:00 am (or so). Now we wait. We sat in a couple chairs by the door in front of the airline counter. There was no one working it after all. After a little time, a couple vans showed up. The travelers exited got their bags and went and stood in line. Did I mention no one was working at the counter yet? We found it quite amusing that it was that important that they be first in line whenever they showed up. It was 5:30 in the morning. The plane didn't leave until 8. So they just wanted to be first to be allowed to wait in a different area. Makes a ton of sense to me. We sat.
After going through the Jamaican Customs portion (bag check and all) we went upstairs to wait some more. We got to the point that we were fine with each other, but other people annoyed us. Then a small group of big-stuff (censored for the children) teenagers showed up and annoyed us. I think it's funny the "one up" game teenagers play; "I slept, like 3 hours last night." "Oh yeah? Well I didn't sleep at all" "Well I didn't sleep and I'm wasted...." I didn't think it was funny then. I just really wanted to punch one in the face.
Once back in the states we had to pick up our bags, go through customs again, and go to our gate. Our flight leaving Jamaica was a little late, so we had to haul. We were waiting for our bags in Miami and a Customs Officer walked around with a drug sniffing dog. You know we did just come from Jamaica. The dog seemed to take particular interest in this one guy. I'm not sure what was on him but the dog was attached to him for a good 10 minutes. The officer checked the guy, patted him down, checked his hat and all and seemed satisfied. How scary would that be? I mean ESPECIALLY if you weren't carrying anything? The dog just cruised past us though.
We grabbed the bags and were off. We gave them to customs and almost ran at that point. We got there in time.
When we got back to Maryland - we were happy. Not so much to be back (because we really liked Jamiaca) but more so that our super-long day was over. Adam and Kelly picked us up from the airport.... bless them. We were hungry and tired. And when we got in the car, there sat a 6-pack of Red Stripe. Courtesy of Adam and Kelly. Yay.
We were on the 3rd floor. Outside of our window, on the ground, was a shuffleboard and a life-size chess board. Sometimes we would heard the sounds of the shuffleboard, walk out on the balcony and watch people play. It was interesting, because I don't think anyone ever knew we were watching. Not that we were hiding... we just didn't yell down and say "Hey, we're up here!" Does that make us weird?
Like I said, we made up for some people. Here are a few:
Ponytail guy - he looked like a villain from a movie. Steven Segal-ish. He just looked like a punk. I think his wife was a trophy.
Whiney woman - On Monday night Couples had a cocktail party to meet the managers. There Rachael discovered a drink called 'Fantasy.' Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave, we noticed a woman crying. She seemed to be throwing a fit because of something about "they not knowing it was her anniversary." We didn't know who 'they' were, and what they were supposed to do for their anniversary, but we were pretty sure she was over-reacting. We saw her a couple times, and she seemed to be worried or whining about something most of the time.
The Hicks - Towards the end of our stay there was this couple that I heard speak one time. They were hicks. I decided. The reason I decided this was... I was at the grill wanting to get a burger, and some jerk chicken. The Hicks were beside me. The guy ordered and had a hick voice. He ordered "dem mini cake thangs." Ummm, he meant "Mini Pattys," which are similar to small calzones and could not be mistaked for a "cake." The woman behind the counter corrected him, but he persisted and said it a couple more times. When he was told it would take
There were shopping trips (we didn't go on any) most days. And without fail, people came back with their hair braided. It very much reminded us of the episode of Friends when Monica got her hair braided to tame her mane. We looked at these people and could only wonder one thing - "What the hell?" As Rach said "Just because you're in Jamaica doesn't mean have to get braids." It mostly looked stupid.. touristy. It was like the t-shirts we saw on people. A lot of Bob Marley shirts, one shirt had Snoopy in dreadlocks, and various other Rastafarian themes. We could only assume that this would be the only time they would wear these shirts. Or, at least, we hoped it would. Ponytail man had a Bob Marley shirt, and a Jamaican flag shirt. It looked plain silly. Feed the machine, I guess. The only thing we didn't see was one of those Rasta hats with the dreads sewn in them (we did see them for sale, just not on someone).
Upon arrival we were given a sheet to fill out of activities. We selected the catamaran ride and dinner reservations for 2 nights. We turned it in on Monday. Our reservations were at 8:30, one for the Italian restaurant (Mon.) and one for the French restaurant (Wed.). We didn't want to do a whole lot - we wanted to have the time to do nothing. As I have been saying we really didn't pay attention to time. We looked at a watch once in a while, but didn't really keep one on us. The cocktail party on Monday started at 6:30. We could see the pier (where the cocktail party was) from our room, so when it seemed that they had been serving stuff for a while - we went over. We had reservations for 8:30 - so we did give a check of the watch. It said 7:30. We went down, had a few drinks, listened to the schpiel and after that headed to the restaurant. We went up there and told the hostess we were there for dinner. She asked what room we were in, we told her. She looked at her sheet for our room.... then flipped the page. "Oh, you're not until 8:30," she said. "What time is it now?" we responded. "It's 7:30." We had to let that sink in for a moment... how could it be 7:30... how could our watches be off... ah yes. The answer hit me - Daylight Savings Time. Jamaica doesn't follow it, and we were an hour off. This was the first time Rachael and I had been early for anything.
We noticed that evening that there was a resort worker snapping photographs. He came by us a few times and take a picture. Most times when he did that, we handed him our camera and asked him to take a picture of us. We never really figured out where the pictures he took went. Did they sell them? Were they using them for promotion? After thinking about it - we could never really say this guy worked for the resort... creepy.
Also on Monday night there was a Beach Party. They had the buffet on the beach (we had Italian that night) and then afterwards had entertainment. There was some Crab Races, which was funny. There was some performers, dancers, fire eaters, and limbo. There was also some bamboo dancing(?). Anyway, every so often there was some audience participation to put people on the spot - especially since they were most likely a little drunk.
One day we did meet a couple that seemed pretty nice. They were from New Jersey. His name was Rob, and he worked for the military. Her name was Jill, and I can't remember what she did. They were moving to San Antonio, TX soon. We had seen them before... ah yes, they were a couple who was brought on stage for some Bamboo Dancing the night before. Anyway, we sat and talked to them one day for a decent amount of time, telling stories of our wedding and work, and stuff. We decided to meet up later at the piano bar. We did and there were a few more couples in there who were a bit older. Rach and I were in the middle. There were stories of Rob and Jill and just starting out, and stories of being married for a long time. We soon realized that we really got a head start on a good marriage for 2 reasons. 1st being we are a bit older. We're a bit more mature and better equipped to handle complex relationship situations and 2nd being we've lived together for about 2 years and have dealt with a lot of things already. While Rob and Jill were talking about if their pets would get along, Rach and I have been through moving, financially struggling, periods of emotional strain together. And we've come out strong and so in love each time. She knows me better than anyone in this world - and I know her. So that all kind of made us feel better on some level. I got trashed at the piano bar though (boy did I sing along) ... so that made me feel pretty good too.
You knew it was going to happen. We had both a Continental Breakfast and the Breakfast Buffet one day. I haven't had breakfast this many days in a row since I was in high school.
We took a trip on a catamaran. We got on, looked for seats. Rach went to get a seat, and I went to get drinks. Rach then came up to me while I was still at the bar, and said that the seat she tried to get was already taken... by Ponytail guy. I knew he was a mean bastard. We found a couple seats, and had a nice trip. They played music throughout the trip, but on our way in there was one song called "Big Bamboo" that was particularly amusing. You can guess what it was actually about.
On Wednesday, we crashed. Not in a car, boat, or plane. Everything just caught up to us and we took a day and slept a lot of it. I read almost half of a book. Rach slept... we just crashed. And it was great. They were doing construction on the first floor - through the day we heard banging and hammering, and drills... ahh the sounds of Jamaica.
We also took a trip to Dunns River Falls. During this, you can climb the falls. You needed shoes in order to do that. We just wore our sneakers, the bus, however, stopped and they had Aqua Socks for rent. This was a little odd in our opinion. Anyway, you also have the option of not climbing the falls, which made sense to us. Our guide on the bus asked if there was anyone not planning on climbing. Couple's Resort took 3 busses I think. We started to make our way in, and they guy said "If you are planning on climbing the falls..." I didn't catch the rest because a woman behind me said "IF you are climbing? I didn't know we had an option. What's the alternative?" I turned looked at her and said "Not climbing, apparently." Seemed obvious enough to me. Then there was a woman complaining, no... crying about how hot it was. I don't know what she expected, being on a tropical island and everything. This is the same woman who we would also hear complain, no... cry that the water was too cold.
We divided into groups, and our main goal was to not be in the same group as the Hicks or the Crying Woman. When were at the bottom our group had to join hands. We would have to climb the falls like this. We were standing there for a couple minutes, and most people dropped hands for a moment. I had Rach on one side and another woman on the other. The other woman would not let go of my hand. I even released my grip and she didn't let go. Weird. Up the falls we went. It was pretty fun. Rach was first in line (except for our guide who took us up) and they took pictures along the way. We have a few good ones.
At one point we went back to the bird sanctuary. I don't know what the turkey did to the peacock but he was chasing that turkey in circles for at least 10 minutes.... man, they did not stop... and it was funny. Probably not as funny as it reads, but trust me on this.
About Thursday or Friday we started to notice that the people who we had gotten used to seeing at lunches, and on the beach were not as plentiful. There was a different lot. We seemed to have stayed through the standard turnover time. I went to the bar and got a beer. Some guy, who I had never seen before said "oh it's a baby beer," because they put it in a cup. To which I replied "Yeah, but I can come back for as much as I want." Idiot. Luckily, I didn't talk to him again.
At the beach there was a guy who seemed to appear out of thin air. He was on a kayak in the ocean and (I guess) selling seashells. I don't know how lucrative a business that is, but he seemed to disappear and reappear. Not once did we see him paddle away.
In the hall one day, we overheard a woman asking a resort worker about the 'Big Bamboo' song. The exchange went like this:
Woman: Hey, do you know where I can get that song they play on the catamaran?
Worker: (mumbles)
Woman: You know the 'Bamboo' song? What CD is that on? The one they play on the catamaran, you know. Oh you know, Big Bamboo, what CD is that on?
Rach and I thought it was funny lie all the workers knew every aspect of everything that happened. This guy probably has never even been on the catamaran.
On Thursday evening we were in the hotel room and I heard some water. Like the bath tub faucet was on. I walked to the bathroom and discovered water running from a vent above the toilet. After I decided that wasn't good, I called downstairs and we left. It was cleaned up when we got back. However, on Friday after dinner we went back to the room. We were on the balcony and I decided I needed to pee. So I went to the bathroom and almost seriously hurt myself as the floor was covered in water again. This time I went to the front desk, and told them about it and how I almost got hurt. Some guys came up and offered to switch our room - but we were going to leave in just a few hours, that would do us no good. I made the simple, obvious suggestion of actually fixing the problem instead of just cleaning it up.
We had a TV in the room but had it on for only 45 minutes the whole week. The Jersey couple told us we needed to check out P.O.N. - Jamaica'a answer to MTV. They were right, it was hilarious. They were videos that looked to be shot with a regular camcorder from the 80's. In one video there was a woman singing in a room and in the window behind her you saw workers just passing by and tending to what they needed. And this chick was singing away.
We took a nap on Friday night, because we had to leave the hotel at 2:15am. Woah. This was my fault really. I mean I made the reservations for the flight. We were the only ones in the lobby waiting for the van. 'Great' we thought. 'Another lovely ride in the van.' Can you sense the sarcasm there? We strolled around to kinda say good-bye to the place. Then the van showed. We hopped in. I'm not sure if it was the time of night, or the driver - but the ride to the airport was soooo smooth and peaceful. I mean, no craziness. My legs were a little cramped, but other than that... The funny thing is, I didn't sleep at all on the way to the airport. Funny, because I fell asleep with the driving maniac just a week before.
We got to the airport, and there were 2 people there: a mother and son combo (the son had a Rasta sweatband on his wrist...). That was it. Us and them. We had 4 bags, and I'm pretty sure they had 50. It was 4:00 am (or so). Now we wait. We sat in a couple chairs by the door in front of the airline counter. There was no one working it after all. After a little time, a couple vans showed up. The travelers exited got their bags and went and stood in line. Did I mention no one was working at the counter yet? We found it quite amusing that it was that important that they be first in line whenever they showed up. It was 5:30 in the morning. The plane didn't leave until 8. So they just wanted to be first to be allowed to wait in a different area. Makes a ton of sense to me. We sat.
After going through the Jamaican Customs portion (bag check and all) we went upstairs to wait some more. We got to the point that we were fine with each other, but other people annoyed us. Then a small group of big-stuff (censored for the children) teenagers showed up and annoyed us. I think it's funny the "one up" game teenagers play; "I slept, like 3 hours last night." "Oh yeah? Well I didn't sleep at all" "Well I didn't sleep and I'm wasted...." I didn't think it was funny then. I just really wanted to punch one in the face.
Once back in the states we had to pick up our bags, go through customs again, and go to our gate. Our flight leaving Jamaica was a little late, so we had to haul. We were waiting for our bags in Miami and a Customs Officer walked around with a drug sniffing dog. You know we did just come from Jamaica. The dog seemed to take particular interest in this one guy. I'm not sure what was on him but the dog was attached to him for a good 10 minutes. The officer checked the guy, patted him down, checked his hat and all and seemed satisfied. How scary would that be? I mean ESPECIALLY if you weren't carrying anything? The dog just cruised past us though.
We grabbed the bags and were off. We gave them to customs and almost ran at that point. We got there in time.
When we got back to Maryland - we were happy. Not so much to be back (because we really liked Jamiaca) but more so that our super-long day was over. Adam and Kelly picked us up from the airport.... bless them. We were hungry and tired. And when we got in the car, there sat a 6-pack of Red Stripe. Courtesy of Adam and Kelly. Yay.
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