12 items or less...

Over the weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of going to Wal-Mart, and I bought 1 item. So I made my way to the Express Lane - 12 or less.

For some reason, I think the definition of "item" needs to be posted. I always get a person in front of me with about 20 things, though they think that if they get multiples of the same item, it constitutes as being one item. "Uh, yeah I have 32 bottles of Windex... Oh, and I also have 5 snickers bars, 7 bottles of detergent, and 18 toothbrushes, that's only a total of FOUR." It apparantly needs to be explained that if it doesn't come in one container (like a 12 pack of soda) then it is multiple items. I think that the people behind this person in line should each get to punch this person in the face.

What I hate mostly, is that the Express Line bandit never gets reprimanded or exposed (though you know everyone has counted the number of items). I think there needs to be consequences, otherwise there is no deterrent for hopping in that line if you have more that the limit.

I suggest public humiliation. Have either the cashier come out and yell at the person; ask them if they can count. Hold up each item and count for them "ONE, TWO, THREEEE...." Then once their finished ask, "Ok. Here you have 18 items. The sign says that 12 is the limit. Is 18 more than 12?" Then they could ask why they were in the express line, just here them weakly say "I don't know." Then, if they still want to purchase the stuff, they have to go to the back of another line - or better yet - a line marked "Moron Line" where they have the brand new trainees working and are perpetually behind a person who bought 55 items and wants a price check on 1 sock, because it rang up $.05 more than they thought it was, and - damn it - they want their nickle.

I think that even though I am in a hurry and in the express line, I wouldn't mind waiting a few more moments to see that.