To the max...

You have to love the opportunistic ways of the world. Who am I to begrudge anyone the opportunity to make a buck?

Caught a radio commercial this morning for something called "Height Max." You knew it was going to happen. Diet pills make you smaller, there's a cream for women to enlarge their breasts, pills and pumps for men's penises, age reducers, hair growers, hair removers, and on and on. Now they have something to "maximize your growth potential." In the commercial it gives instruction on this. All you have to do is take it (or give it to your child) between the ages of 12-25, and, apparently, they will grow the tallest person they could possibly be.

First off, I didn't know if you knew this or not, but people in general experience their most growth between the ages of 12-25. So, if little Suzy grows an inch between 12-13 then it's probably not the miracle "Height Max" that did it. I understand that they are not saying that it makes you grow - but it will "maximize" you growth. Suzy may have only grown 3/4 of an inch if it hadn't been for Height Max. How are you supposed to know? How can you tell that it increased anything? I mean with hair growers, and other enlargers, you would see a difference, but there is no comparative.

So the company that makes "Height Max" has basically 2 types of customers. Those who are morons - "Hey, Francine! Come look at Junior! He's growin' like a weed! Thank goodness. With me bein' 6'6" an' you being 6'1", he would have felt bad if he'd ended up being teeny. Yay for Height Max!"

Then you have the customer segment of people who simply think "what could it hurt? You take the stuff, and if it works then you have maximized your growth potential. If it doesn't work then you haven't really lost anything." (except your money).