We were on the 3rd floor. Outside of our window, on the ground, was a shuffleboard and a life-size chess board. Sometimes we would heard the sounds of the shuffleboard, walk out on the balcony and watch people play. It was interesting, because I don't think anyone ever knew we were watching. Not that we were hiding... we just didn't yell down and say "Hey, we're up here!" Does that make us weird?
Like I said, we made up for some people. Here are a few:
Ponytail guy - he looked like a villain from a movie. Steven Segal-ish. He just looked like a punk. I think his wife was a trophy.
Whiney woman - On Monday night Couples had a cocktail party to meet the managers. There Rachael discovered a drink called 'Fantasy.' Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave, we noticed a woman crying. She seemed to be throwing a fit because of something about "they not knowing it was her anniversary." We didn't know who 'they' were, and what they were supposed to do for their anniversary, but we were pretty sure she was over-reacting. We saw her a couple times, and she seemed to be worried or whining about something most of the time.
The Hicks - Towards the end of our stay there was this couple that I heard speak one time. They were hicks. I decided. The reason I decided this was... I was at the grill wanting to get a burger, and some jerk chicken. The Hicks were beside me. The guy ordered and had a hick voice. He ordered "dem mini cake thangs." Ummm, he meant "Mini Pattys," which are similar to small calzones and could not be mistaked for a "cake." The woman behind the counter corrected him, but he persisted and said it a couple more times. When he was told it would take
There were shopping trips (we didn't go on any) most days. And without fail, people came back with their hair braided. It very much reminded us of the episode of Friends when Monica got her hair braided to tame her mane. We looked at these people and could only wonder one thing - "What the hell?" As Rach said "Just because you're in Jamaica doesn't mean have to get braids." It mostly looked stupid.. touristy. It was like the t-shirts we saw on people. A lot of Bob Marley shirts, one shirt had Snoopy in dreadlocks, and various other Rastafarian themes. We could only assume that this would be the only time they would wear these shirts. Or, at least, we hoped it would. Ponytail man had a Bob Marley shirt, and a Jamaican flag shirt. It looked plain silly. Feed the machine, I guess. The only thing we didn't see was one of those Rasta hats with the dreads sewn in them (we did see them for sale, just not on someone).
Upon arrival we were given a sheet to fill out of activities. We selected the catamaran ride and dinner reservations for 2 nights. We turned it in on Monday. Our reservations were at 8:30, one for the Italian restaurant (Mon.) and one for the French restaurant (Wed.). We didn't want to do a whole lot - we wanted to have the time to do nothing. As I have been saying we really didn't pay attention to time. We looked at a watch once in a while, but didn't really keep one on us. The cocktail party on Monday started at 6:30. We could see the pier (where the cocktail party was) from our room, so when it seemed that they had been serving stuff for a while - we went over. We had reservations for 8:30 - so we did give a check of the watch. It said 7:30. We went down, had a few drinks, listened to the schpiel and after that headed to the restaurant. We went up there and told the hostess we were there for dinner. She asked what room we were in, we told her. She looked at her sheet for our room.... then flipped the page. "Oh, you're not until 8:30," she said. "What time is it now?" we responded. "It's 7:30." We had to let that sink in for a moment... how could it be 7:30... how could our watches be off... ah yes. The answer hit me - Daylight Savings Time. Jamaica doesn't follow it, and we were an hour off. This was the first time Rachael and I had been early for anything.
We noticed that evening that there was a resort worker snapping photographs. He came by us a few times and take a picture. Most times when he did that, we handed him our camera and asked him to take a picture of us. We never really figured out where the pictures he took went. Did they sell them? Were they using them for promotion? After thinking about it - we could never really say this guy worked for the resort... creepy.
Also on Monday night there was a Beach Party. They had the buffet on the beach (we had Italian that night) and then afterwards had entertainment. There was some Crab Races, which was funny. There was some performers, dancers, fire eaters, and limbo. There was also some bamboo dancing(?). Anyway, every so often there was some audience participation to put people on the spot - especially since they were most likely a little drunk.
One day we did meet a couple that seemed pretty nice. They were from New Jersey. His name was Rob, and he worked for the military. Her name was Jill, and I can't remember what she did. They were moving to San Antonio, TX soon. We had seen them before... ah yes, they were a couple who was brought on stage for some Bamboo Dancing the night before. Anyway, we sat and talked to them one day for a decent amount of time, telling stories of our wedding and work, and stuff. We decided to meet up later at the piano bar. We did and there were a few more couples in there who were a bit older. Rach and I were in the middle. There were stories of Rob and Jill and just starting out, and stories of being married for a long time. We soon realized that we really got a head start on a good marriage for 2 reasons. 1st being we are a bit older. We're a bit more mature and better equipped to handle complex relationship situations and 2nd being we've lived together for about 2 years and have dealt with a lot of things already. While Rob and Jill were talking about if their pets would get along, Rach and I have been through moving, financially struggling, periods of emotional strain together. And we've come out strong and so in love each time. She knows me better than anyone in this world - and I know her. So that all kind of made us feel better on some level. I got trashed at the piano bar though (boy did I sing along) ... so that made me feel pretty good too.
You knew it was going to happen. We had both a Continental Breakfast and the Breakfast Buffet one day. I haven't had breakfast this many days in a row since I was in high school.
We took a trip on a catamaran. We got on, looked for seats. Rach went to get a seat, and I went to get drinks. Rach then came up to me while I was still at the bar, and said that the seat she tried to get was already taken... by Ponytail guy. I knew he was a mean bastard. We found a couple seats, and had a nice trip. They played music throughout the trip, but on our way in there was one song called "Big Bamboo" that was particularly amusing. You can guess what it was actually about.
On Wednesday, we crashed. Not in a car, boat, or plane. Everything just caught up to us and we took a day and slept a lot of it. I read almost half of a book. Rach slept... we just crashed. And it was great. They were doing construction on the first floor - through the day we heard banging and hammering, and drills... ahh the sounds of Jamaica.
We also took a trip to Dunns River Falls. During this, you can climb the falls. You needed shoes in order to do that. We just wore our sneakers, the bus, however, stopped and they had Aqua Socks for rent. This was a little odd in our opinion. Anyway, you also have the option of not climbing the falls, which made sense to us. Our guide on the bus asked if there was anyone not planning on climbing. Couple's Resort took 3 busses I think. We started to make our way in, and they guy said "If you are planning on climbing the falls..." I didn't catch the rest because a woman behind me said "IF you are climbing? I didn't know we had an option. What's the alternative?" I turned looked at her and said "Not climbing, apparently." Seemed obvious enough to me. Then there was a woman complaining, no... crying about how hot it was. I don't know what she expected, being on a tropical island and everything. This is the same woman who we would also hear complain, no... cry that the water was too cold.
We divided into groups, and our main goal was to not be in the same group as the Hicks or the Crying Woman. When were at the bottom our group had to join hands. We would have to climb the falls like this. We were standing there for a couple minutes, and most people dropped hands for a moment. I had Rach on one side and another woman on the other. The other woman would not let go of my hand. I even released my grip and she didn't let go. Weird. Up the falls we went. It was pretty fun. Rach was first in line (except for our guide who took us up) and they took pictures along the way. We have a few good ones.
At one point we went back to the bird sanctuary. I don't know what the turkey did to the peacock but he was chasing that turkey in circles for at least 10 minutes.... man, they did not stop... and it was funny. Probably not as funny as it reads, but trust me on this.
About Thursday or Friday we started to notice that the people who we had gotten used to seeing at lunches, and on the beach were not as plentiful. There was a different lot. We seemed to have stayed through the standard turnover time. I went to the bar and got a beer. Some guy, who I had never seen before said "oh it's a baby beer," because they put it in a cup. To which I replied "Yeah, but I can come back for as much as I want." Idiot. Luckily, I didn't talk to him again.
At the beach there was a guy who seemed to appear out of thin air. He was on a kayak in the ocean and (I guess) selling seashells. I don't know how lucrative a business that is, but he seemed to disappear and reappear. Not once did we see him paddle away.
In the hall one day, we overheard a woman asking a resort worker about the 'Big Bamboo' song. The exchange went like this:
Woman: Hey, do you know where I can get that song they play on the catamaran?
Worker: (mumbles)
Woman: You know the 'Bamboo' song? What CD is that on? The one they play on the catamaran, you know. Oh you know, Big Bamboo, what CD is that on?
Rach and I thought it was funny lie all the workers knew every aspect of everything that happened. This guy probably has never even been on the catamaran.
On Thursday evening we were in the hotel room and I heard some water. Like the bath tub faucet was on. I walked to the bathroom and discovered water running from a vent above the toilet. After I decided that wasn't good, I called downstairs and we left. It was cleaned up when we got back. However, on Friday after dinner we went back to the room. We were on the balcony and I decided I needed to pee. So I went to the bathroom and almost seriously hurt myself as the floor was covered in water again. This time I went to the front desk, and told them about it and how I almost got hurt. Some guys came up and offered to switch our room - but we were going to leave in just a few hours, that would do us no good. I made the simple, obvious suggestion of actually fixing the problem instead of just cleaning it up.
We had a TV in the room but had it on for only 45 minutes the whole week. The Jersey couple told us we needed to check out P.O.N. - Jamaica'a answer to MTV. They were right, it was hilarious. They were videos that looked to be shot with a regular camcorder from the 80's. In one video there was a woman singing in a room and in the window behind her you saw workers just passing by and tending to what they needed. And this chick was singing away.
We took a nap on Friday night, because we had to leave the hotel at 2:15am. Woah. This was my fault really. I mean I made the reservations for the flight. We were the only ones in the lobby waiting for the van. 'Great' we thought. 'Another lovely ride in the van.' Can you sense the sarcasm there? We strolled around to kinda say good-bye to the place. Then the van showed. We hopped in. I'm not sure if it was the time of night, or the driver - but the ride to the airport was soooo smooth and peaceful. I mean, no craziness. My legs were a little cramped, but other than that... The funny thing is, I didn't sleep at all on the way to the airport. Funny, because I fell asleep with the driving maniac just a week before.
We got to the airport, and there were 2 people there: a mother and son combo (the son had a Rasta sweatband on his wrist...). That was it. Us and them. We had 4 bags, and I'm pretty sure they had 50. It was 4:00 am (or so). Now we wait. We sat in a couple chairs by the door in front of the airline counter. There was no one working it after all. After a little time, a couple vans showed up. The travelers exited got their bags and went and stood in line. Did I mention no one was working at the counter yet? We found it quite amusing that it was that important that they be first in line whenever they showed up. It was 5:30 in the morning. The plane didn't leave until 8. So they just wanted to be first to be allowed to wait in a different area. Makes a ton of sense to me. We sat.
After going through the Jamaican Customs portion (bag check and all) we went upstairs to wait some more. We got to the point that we were fine with each other, but other people annoyed us. Then a small group of big-stuff (censored for the children) teenagers showed up and annoyed us. I think it's funny the "one up" game teenagers play; "I slept, like 3 hours last night." "Oh yeah? Well I didn't sleep at all" "Well I didn't sleep and I'm wasted...." I didn't think it was funny then. I just really wanted to punch one in the face.
Once back in the states we had to pick up our bags, go through customs again, and go to our gate. Our flight leaving Jamaica was a little late, so we had to haul. We were waiting for our bags in Miami and a Customs Officer walked around with a drug sniffing dog. You know we did just come from Jamaica. The dog seemed to take particular interest in this one guy. I'm not sure what was on him but the dog was attached to him for a good 10 minutes. The officer checked the guy, patted him down, checked his hat and all and seemed satisfied. How scary would that be? I mean ESPECIALLY if you weren't carrying anything? The dog just cruised past us though.
We grabbed the bags and were off. We gave them to customs and almost ran at that point. We got there in time.
When we got back to Maryland - we were happy. Not so much to be back (because we really liked Jamiaca) but more so that our super-long day was over. Adam and Kelly picked us up from the airport.... bless them. We were hungry and tired. And when we got in the car, there sat a 6-pack of Red Stripe. Courtesy of Adam and Kelly. Yay.
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